Fellow Volunteers Writing Articles and Facebook Statuses

I know my posts have been kind of (or really) depressing lately, so allow me one more paragraph of serious stuff and then I promise I'll get on to the comic relief!

Sometimes I feel quite bitter at male Peace Corps Volunteers, because they don't experience machismo the way the female volunteers do... but then I am reminded that there are some male and female volunteers that have to deal with discrimination of a whole other level- homophobia, for example.  Outside of Lima (and often times within the city as well), the majority of Peru is shockingly homophobic- I've sat in a high school class and listened to the Councilwoman in charge of Education in Monsefú tell 13 year-olds that romantic love can only exist between a man and a woman the Bible is very clear that God hates homosexuality.  As a result of this attitude, it is strongly recommended (by many gay Volunteers and Peace Corps staff) that gay Volunteers keep their sexual orientation private, because the backlash in their community may make their work and integration impossible.  I say all this as an intro to a really interesting article written by another Peace Corps Peru Volunteer... check it out: 

 http://www.gaycitynews.com/articles/2012/04/26/gay_city_news/news/doc4f9834fdb98e8807817871.txt

Okay, now back to the easier stuff.  I was recently looking back on some favorite Facebook posts by fellow Volunteers, and thought that they give a pretty interesting perspective on the crazy moments of Peace Corps life that start to feel pretty normal.  Here's what I mean:

Spent the afternoon with a mother's club going house to house signing up kids for a free present in Christmas. Accidently let a fart slip louder than I expected and while the adults at least pretended to not hear it the kids were in a fit of giggles. By the time we reached the end of the block every house we passed was laughing. Word travels fast when a gringa toots.

‎14-yr-old student: ¿Como se dice "¿Quieres estar conmigo?" en ingles?
me: Do you want to be with me?
student: Yes! Yes I do!    .... 

I couldn´t even get mad at him, just tried not to let all of the students see how funny I thought it was.

Helped judge a ¨Señorita Primavera¨ pageant last night in celebration of the first day of spring, and on my way out the door my host sister told me I wasn´t dressed nice eough, and in fact, none of my clothes seemed to cut it so they had to lend me some. This is not what I envisioned the Peace Corps to be like.

Week in review: Tuesday--Alpacas walk into my meeting (yes, it was indoors!).  Wednesday-- Naked man in the canal.  Thursday-- Appointed to organize breakdancing contest. 

TGIF!

Just watched a fully grown Peruvian male thrown a fit that Charlie St Cloud....the Zach Efron film was turned off before completion of our bus journey

my host sister asked for my pee to wash her daughter with. Family integration: Complete.

Peace Corps: Some days you try to change the world, some days you translate Bieber lyrics.

In October,  Lisa sent me a Twix bar, and I gave it to my host brother. He loved it. Yesterday, he found a Twix in Trujillo, bought it, brought it home, and shared it with me. Sustainable development at it's finest ;)

For a real treat go work a farm for a day pulling up aproximately 100 buckets of water from a deep well and aquire 7 open blisters on your fingers and two hours later apply hand sanitizer copiously.

Drank expired juice again this time i’m paying for it

And, saving the best for last, here is a Facebook status posted by one Volunteer, that was then commented on by many other Volunteers:

You know you've been in Peru too long when  ...you finally get a hot shower and turn it to cold because it feels more natural.

‎...you eat everything with a spoon.

… You pick ants and hair out of your food like it ain't no thang.

… you consider it acceptable to call someone 8 times in succession to ask a non-emergency question

‎...you sweep your dirt to make it look nice.

… elbowing a grandma to get "dibs" in line is polite

… rap a coin on someone's front door repeatedly yelling "¡seño!" until they answer your call--from 6am to 11pm

… you sincerely think that drinking something cold or using a fan might make you sick

… silencing your phone is a thing of the past

… fireworks don't make you wake up or even wince

‎...you can comfortably use diarrhea as an excuse to get out of a Peace Corps meeting.

Lastly, here's my most recent album of photos from Months 7 & 8 in site!

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100477704393376.2589283.1526375&type=1&l=f73d58db01

The simply complicated lives we lead

As you may or may not remember, I am participating in a program called World Wise Schools, in which I write letters (emails) to a 6th grade class in Virginia, whose teacher is my friend Elizabeth Turner.  Here I'd like to share my most recent update to them, which talks about the "simple," humble lives many of our friends lead here in Peru.

Hi Ms. Turner’s Class!!

It feels like a long time since I saw you all a little more than two months ago!  I hope you all had fun on your Spring Breaks and are enjoying the weather as it warms up.  It is cooling down here because the seasons are opposite in the Southern Hemisphere- so we are heading into fall!

Last weekend, I visited another Peace Corps Volunteer named Liz who lives about 4 hours away in a town called Bolívar, Cajamarca.  It is a very rural area, where only about 600 people live in the town, and another 1,000 or so live on farms that are hours away from the center of town.  I want to tell you a bit about my visit, because the way of life there is very different from what most Americans are accustomed to.

First, there is no cell phone service in the whole town.  And almost nobody has a landline in his or her house.  So that means the whole town shares two “community phones!”  There is also no Internet.  But since the kids there have never had Internet, they aren’t as upset by that as you might be- instead of playing on the internet, they are accustomed to playing with each other or bugging their parents :)

Both nights that I was visiting, the electricity was cut off before 9pm- that means that the only way to get around your house or the streets was by flashlight or candles.  These power outages happen all the time in Bolívar- imagine what it would be like in your house and school if the power shut off all the time, without warning!

Almost all of the people in Bolívar are very, very poor… a level of poor that is very rare in the United States.  Most people are farmers and make very little money, so they can’t buy a lot of things for their house or their kids- the floors are just dirt, no tile or concrete or anything, and most people only have 3 or 4 sets of clothes to wear.  They eat rice and potatoes every day because it is cheaper, and sometimes they have a little bit of fish or meat when they can afford it.

But there is something really important you have to understand- you don’t have to feel bad for the people of Bolívar because they don’t have cell phones, internet, or lots of clothes- these are things that matter a lot more in the United States than here in rural Peru.  You don’t need these things to be happy.  While Liz’s friends in Bolívar do need help studying to go to good schools, and finding ways to earn more money, they are very happy, generous, and fun people!

Here’s something that will surprise you guys- remember those guinea pigs you were so worried about?  In Liz’s friend’s house, they run around on the floor of the kitchen!  The kitchen looks completely different than what you imagine as a kitchen.  The “stove” is just a pot on firewood, and in the corner a bunch of guinea pigs, a few ducks, and a chicken squawk and squeal.  Here’s a picture of a stray guinea pig that made it over to the kitchen table, really close to my foot!

I learned a lot this weekend, visiting Liz and meeting her friends.  While my town, Monsefú, is really poor compared to the United States, Bolívar is much, much poorer.  Liz says she knows of one person in the whole town that owns a refrigerator.  But no matter where I travel, I find that people who come from different backgrounds or have different lifestyles or cultures are never really that different from you or me – kids everywhere like to play, everyone likes to laugh, and families always have arguments and love each other all the same.

So, I would like to hear your thoughts on this question…

What do you think is most important in life,

and what makes people truly happy?

Let me know what you think.  In the mean time, here are some more pictures from my visit to Bolívar, Cajamarca!

Un abrazo (a hug),

Kim

So, there's the simple, 6th grade appropriate Peace Corps story of the day.  While it is simplified, it is also all true.  Some parts of Peace Corps are somewhat romantic, eating dinner by candle light with guinea pigs running around my feet.  My job is pretty ridiculous and fun, sometimes.

Now, if you're up to it, I direct your attention to a blog written by my friend Amanda, written on a topic that- as you know- makes my life a lot more complicated than a 6th grader would understand.  Of course, I'm talking about machismo.  This post does a great job of really describing how constant and frustrating the situation is, not only for the harassment but the fact that none of our local friends can understand why it upsets us so much.  You'll also notice a shout-out to my truck-punching experience.

Here you go: http://amandagoespc.blogspot.com/2012/04/machismo.html

If you've still got the stomach for it, I have a few more comments on machismo.  A fellow female volunteer recently told me that as a Youth Volunteer, she stopped working in the high school because of how bad the treatment by male teachers got.  How bad, you ask?  The English teacher told his class of 13 year-olds that he wished he was standing under the stairs when the Volunteer walked upstairs wearing a (long) skirt.  Said this to his class... of 13 year olds.  Boys and girls alike are taught from the youngest age that all females can be treated as sex objects.  I've had 10-year olds in Monsefú whistle and make lewd comments at me.  

Really makes you want to donate to our adolescent boys' camp that is going to touch of the topic of machismo, right??  Just kidding.  Sort of.

There you go.  Two completely different realities, same Peace Corps rollercoaster.  8 months in-site as of four days ago!  This past month has been my hardest yet, but there's still no where I'd rather be.

How You Can Help: Camp VALOR

You may remember a while back that I blogged about our annual adolescent girls camp (Camp ALMA), put on by the volunteers in my region.  Thanks to your support, we met our fundraising goal and were able to put on a really incredible 3-day camp for the girls from our sites!  Here's a picture of some of the 60 girls listening to an HIV-positive speaker.  Sexual health is always a big focus of our youth camps, since the topic is not addressed anywhere near adequately in schools or in the family. 

In early June, it will be the boys turn- we will be putting on a 3-day camp (Camp VALOR) for a total of 50 adolescent boys from our sites across the region of Lambayeque.  Our focus will be promoting the "well-rounded man"- through activities in agriculture and business, environment, future planning, nutrition, sexual health, and gender equality (fighting the ever-dominant machismo).  So, in order to achieve our goal we need to raise money FAST, about $1,400 in the next month.  A little goes a long way here in Peru!  If you weren't able to donate fast enough to contribute to the girls' camp, here's your chance!  Once we reach our goal, the link will close.

I can assure you through my experience in the girls camp that you will be contributing to a really special project.  It is very rare that Peruvian teens in our region are allowed out of the house past 9pm, much less to sleep outside of the house for 2-days, so beyond the training and information that they get, this is an experience that they remember for a very, very long time.  The girls from our camp in February still gush about the experience, posting and re-posting pictures on Facebook of their new friends from across the region!  Moreover, our camps give teens a safe space to talk honestly about relationships, health, and other topics with their peers and Peace Corps Volunteers... the adolescents trust us enough to ask very personal questions, about their bodies, families, and futures. 

As with all of our projects, a significant portion of the budget (40%) is coming from local community contributions and donated support.  All donations made through this link are secure through the Peace Corps website and tax-deductible.

DONATE HERE!

https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=527-116

A picture from last year's VALOR camp in our region:

Will you help us meet our fundraising needs?  Please forward this link on to friends and family you think may be interested!  The Peace Corps Volunteers of Lambayeque, Peru and our adolescent campers thank you!!  Any questions feel free to email me or you can read more about the project in the donation link.  Again, if you find the link closed, we have met our fundraising needs.

https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=527-116

Thank you and sending all my love,

Kim

The better days will prevail

Happy Easter, family, friends and strangers!

It is hard being away from my family and country for yet another holiday, but I've been feeling much better this week and am having a great Easter with my Peruvian host family.  While in the States last February I bought plastic Easter eggs and today put them to use in the first Easter Egg Hunt that my host family has seen.  It was a ton of fun, even for the two youngest who had no idea what was going out but ran around screaming and laughing anyways.

My totally squeezable niece and nephews with their Easter eggs and candy

Bruno can walk a few steps! Practicing with his mama and papa while his cousins and sister watch

On this Easter, I'd like to share an Easter message from Paul Walker, Christ Episcopal Church in Charlottesville, but first I'd like to tell you a bit about what this church and pastor mean to me.  Back in 2006, in the spring of my first year of college, I was feeling quite broken for a number of reasons.  I made a somewhat random decision to apply to Alternative Spring Break, a UVa group that provides the opportunity to dedicate your spring break to a service trip, nationally and internationally.  I got accepted to the Argentina trip, and headed off on my first real international experience (since I'm not counting Caribbean family vacations).  The trip was life-changing for me, in a variety of aspects.  I came out of those two weeks having taken some small first steps towards healing and finding myself.  

The journey continued back in Charlottesville, when a friend from the trip invited me to check out a student-focused church service in downtown Charlottesville.  My whole life I had felt estranged from church and religion- I always wanted to believe and belong, but I couldn't.  Walking into Christ Church and hearing Paul Walker speak for the first time, I was bewildered by the sense of acceptance I found, never before felt in church (quite the opposite, I had always felt like the whole congregation was staring at me and judging me).  Week by week, I felt more and more connected and healed, and through the ministers and congregation, I finally found God.

Christ Church and its community are two of the things I miss most about the States, but I am lucky enough that the sermons are provided in text and audio on their website.  I'm not going to pretend that I listen to the sermons weekly, but in moments like the truck-punching day, I can turn to them.

So, here is one of my favorite Christ Church sermons of all time, Easter 2010.  The sermon is very down-to-earth and the message is simple: Life is hard- sometimes we are consumed by despair and pain, and  messages like "everything is going to be okay" seem childish and out of touch.  But the message of Easter is that in the end, the good days will prevail.  

Obviously this idea is very important to my Peace Corps experience... when I am in the moments of most darkness and dispair, I have to remember that this too shall pass.  It always does, and it always will.

I hope some of you are able to connect with this Easter promise- everything is going to be okay.

Sermon text: http://www.christchurchcville.org/wp-content/uploads/easter-2010.pdf

Sermon audio: http://www.christchurchcville.org/wp-content/uploads/sermons/10-04-04%20Paul%20Walker.mp3

So, I punched a truck.

I have to start this post off by saying a few things.

#1- I really hope I won't offend any of my family members or other loyal friends who have been reading my blog and supporting me in many ways.  I have the deepest of gratitude for those that dedicate time to listening to my written or spoken Peace Corps stories, and for the patience you have shown in trying to understand what my life is like... but what I have to say, is that it is almost impossible for you understand what I am going through (unless you have also been a Peace Corps Volunteer).  If you have lived in a foreign country, you can understand on one level.  If you have lived in a super "rough" community where you feel constant hostility, you can understand on one level.  But there are very few experiences that really compare to Peace Corps (especially as a female), where:

• You live "alone" in a community with no friends or family from home, for two years.
• In a foreign country with foreign customs and values that you don't understand and often don't agree with, regardless of the amount of cultural sensitivity training you have received
• In a community where many people have very minimal contact with foreigners and have no idea how to treat them
• Most people's ideas of Americans are based on absurd stereotypes based on TV shows (Sweet 16), evangelical groups, and random stories told by their cousins
• The level of education is very low, which affects your ability to communicate others, not only in obvious situations like vocabulary, but in things like explaining directions for an activity... the most basic of activities have to be explained 5 times and in excruciating detail
• Myths and beliefs about nutrition, sex, and illness seem insurmountable
• Your job is 24/7, such that there is never a break from being your "professional self," even less so in a culture that gives you zero personal space
• The community is used to having to "fight" for resources, so people act like children when you start working with a group outside of theirs
• You are a public figure constantly in the public eye, and rumors spread like wildfire
• The machismo is so ingrained in the culture (to me) that even the women don't recognize it as such

#2- The whole part of #1 was written on a separate day.  I am feeling much more tranquila and less intolerant about my site now.

#3- I've been in a PEPFAR (President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief) Conference for the last two days in Chiclayo, and am there with 4 socias (counterparts) from Monsefú.  To make a long story short, two of my socias have been a complete circus throughout the event; interrupting the speaker, not turning off their cell phones, domineering group work, etc... it's become a joke now between the Volunteers at the event to shake their head at me and say things like "Damnit Monsefú..."   So, while these two women do not represent my entire community, it does give a little more weight to my belief that my site is a little rowdier and crazier than other towns in Peru.

#4- Today, I was thinking about my site-mate I will probably be getting in August (!!!) who will work in Youth Development.  I recommended Monsefú as a Youth site because there is so much work that can be done here with youth and I barely have time to touch that topic/population.  I was thinking about things I want to say to the Program Director, about what kind of Volunteer should be assigned to Monsefú.  And suddenly I remembered something my Tech Trainer told me after I was assigned to Monsefú... I believe she said "I'm glad you like your site because we thought it matched your strengths really well... we needed a female who was diplomatic but firm." This makes me laugh really hard now, because the need to be "firm" in Monsefú seems like a huge understatement.  As you might have been able to tell from this post and my last one, many people are constantly trying to out-do each other, compete for resources, and prove their personal worth... I most certainly have to be "firm" or I would never get a complete sentence out of my mouth without someone interrupting me to say eschúchame, escúchame, no, escúchame... This reality is the complete opposite from some other Volunteers that live in smaller sites, especially in the mountains.

#5- Overall, I think I've been riding pretty high on the Peace Corps rollercoaster up until this point.  These past few weeks have been my hardest in Peace Corps, and I think I've reached a new plateau in my cultural adjustment.  I'm going through a phase of almost complete intolerance to the culture.  I feel like almost every monsefuano I talk to (minus select friends and family) are incredibly rude and I can't relate to them at all.  I can't stand the men in Monsefú and Chiclayo that look at me like they are going to eat me and then whisper things in my ear.  I can't stand the absurd misconceptions people have of who I am and what resources I have, like my socia who today asked me if I came to training "in my car."  I gave a dark laugh and asked her (with a little attitude) with what money am I going to buy a car?   But my "overwhelmed with rudeness" feeling is unwarranted.  When I am around my host family, friends, or artisans, I don't feel any animosity towards them, and in fact quite the opposite... but when I step out of the house, it feels hostile.  It didn't used to feel this way, since I know many of the families in my neighborhood.  I hope this phase goes away soon.

So, with all of this in said, a short story.  

Two days ago, a man made an unbelievably disgusting SLURPING noise at me as I walked by in Monsefú.  Ugggghhhh.  As you may remember from another blog post, I try my best to ignore the harassment, because if you address it, it might just get worse.  But the more I attempt to "ignore" it or contain my anger, the more likely it becomes that I am going to explode an incident or two after a particularly bad interaction.  So, that slurping action was just too much for me, and I was (unknowingly) ready to blow.

Yesterday, I was leaving at 8AM from Monsefú to go to Chiclayo for the first day of the Conference.  I was already really stressed out about the re-programming of this damn artisan fashion show and a few other things.  So I walk down a street to drop something off with an artisan friend and a big cargo truck full of men starts whistling at me.  I ignore it.  I drop off the item, start back down the street, and realize that I have no desire to pass through these men again.  I try to cross the street, but am unable to because of an aggressive stream of mototaxis coming through.  So I am forced to walk right past the truck again, and in my head am having the thoughts of "I swear to God, if they make a sound, I'm gonna..."

A short interjection-- my interactions with men here have given me some pretty violent daydreams about things I would do to my harassers if there were no physical or other risks for myself.  I don't think I should describe them here because, as I said in Part #1, I don't think it's possible for you to understand where my head is at here... and I might sound crazy!

Continuing on- I start walking past the truck, and of course some intense whistling ensues.  I explode.  I whip around, and (in my head) came somewhat close to physically assaulting someone.  The man standing right next to me appeared to have not participated in the noises, and the guilty ones were unreachable sitting high up in their truck.  I was completely enraged and I must have looked completely ridiculous.  My eyes were bugging out of my head, and my fist were clenched by my sides.  But I also felt completely helpless and couldn't get a word out, so... I punched the truck.  Just full on, fist clenched, punched the door of the truck.

As you might imagine, this set the harassers into a fit of laughter, and as I stomped away, I still felt so enraged that I might faint.

Thankfully, this PEPFAR Conference has been very well-timed to give me some time with other Volunteers, even if two of my socias make me pretty frustrated sometimes.  I'm feeling much better today, and actually had a good meeting about the re-programming of the artisan show, which is bringing my overall level of "intolerance" down a number of notches.

And if any Peace Corps bosses are reading this, I promise I'm not going to physically assault anybody.  I'll just have to work on other ways to be "firm."  ;)

Pueblo Chico, Infierno Grande

This past week has been without a doubt the hardest week of my Peace Corps service, and one of the more challenging of my life.

As you all know, I have been working to bring to life the first Artisan Fashion Show in Monsefú, which happened this past Sunday.  Unfortunately and somewhat fortunately, in the same moment that the show started, it started raining- it only seems to rain in Monsefú during important Peace Corps events!  It was bearable at first, but then a torrential downpour started and everyone had to run for their lives and cover the electrical equipment.

I say somewhat fortunately because we were nowhere near fully prepared for this event.  And I don't mean my Type-A, perfectionist type of unprepared, I mean the sound system was super messed up, the music didn't work until the last 5 minutes, half of the outfits (out of like 80 in total) didn't have descriptions for the announcer to read, and we were probably going to commit enough errors in the descriptions that numerous artisans were going to leave grumpy with me.

A few months ago, I started out working with Señorita Fexticum, a 17 year-old marinera dance champion who represents Monsefú.  She has always been unreliable, but she surpassed herself this time.  She was supposed to be in charge of the whole model aspect of the event, leading the rehearsals and all of that.  Well, while I was out of town for an obligatory training, she skipped two rehearsals, with no warning to me or any of the models.  When confronted about it, she had completely insane excuses about her health (including that she got an ear infection from being near a really loud speaker at a birthday party) and refused to take any responsibility.  She also pocketed 100 soles donated to the event by a contact of mine for her own personal expenses, probably all unrelated to the event.  I found myself in this situation 2 weeks before the event when a guy in his early 30s, Lucho, introduced himself to me when I was meeting with Magguli (Señorita Fexticum).  I found out that the idea for this project that Magguli had presented to me was actually a project of his that he had developed 4 years ago, and had suggested that Magguli get in contact with me to make it happen, since he was occupied with other work.  I explained my complete state of desperation to him and he promised to support me in every way possible.  And he did- we got more done in one day than I had gotten done with Magguli in a month.  Through him we got a big team of young people involved, and we kind of pulled off this event, and much bigger than I had imagined it.

But even with all of Lucho's help, preparation for this event was still complete hell.  I am just not cut out to deal with young, small town aspiring models, stage moms, and psychologically unstable artisans.  There were plenty of amazingly supportive, helpful people involved in this event, but that doesn't erase the egoism, criticism, selfishness, and everything else I had to deal with by the truckload.  And the cultural differences just amplified everything.  Hopefully most of you see me as someone who is organized and responsible, but this week I came to fully realize how much my organizational ability depends on having some private time to think.  There is no such thing as private time in Monsefú, and interrupting is also a way of life.  In the municipality people walk straight up to a desk and start talking, regardless of whether another conversation is going on, and if someone thinks what they have to say is more important than what you are saying, they will just cut you off and say "no, escuchame, escuchame..." (listen to me, listen to me).  So this is the way people treated me during our rehearsals, while I was trying to organize the descriptions and orders of the outfits on my laptop.  Three teenagers/moms talking at me at the same time saying KIMBERLY KIMBERLY even after I told the entire room that I could not be interrupted for the next 10 minutes.  About 3 hours before the event, not having eaten all day, I had a minor breakdown and tried to explain through sobs to Lucho and the university students helping us that I can't think or do anything productive when people keeping accosting me with pressuring questions about "What am I wearing" "When am I going on" "Is this the only thing I am wearing?" "Can I switch bags with her" "Why haven't you gotten the order done yet??!!" and everything else.  The two university students then made me sit down and they made me two cups of chamomile tea and fed me hard boiled eggs and crackers, the only things they could find in the house. 

The event started about 75 minutes late (an hour is somewhat standard), the sound was bad, the music wasn't working, all the introductions were off the cuff (not horrible but not really adequate), and we didn't have all of the descriptions printed for the announcer to read.  In that way, thank God it rained because I was dreading the later sections of the show that were not as well organized as the first parts.  But I left the event laughing and happy, knowing that there was nothing I could do about the rain.  As my Peace Corps mob that came out to support (thank you guys!!) was leaving, one volunteer leaned in and said "keep laughing!"

Three days ago, the laughing stopped.  A radio show guy named Felipe, who had originally supported me and the event, brutally criticized the organization of the event, saying that everything that Lucho is involved in turns out badly.  They don't like each other and I don't understand why.  Then an artisan got super defensive about her son's involvement as the DJ and basically told me that he only participated because of Magguli and it is all thanks to Magguli that this event happened (her son is friends with Magguli, so I can only imagine the bullshit she has been spreading about her role in the organization).  Lastly, on the public "Monsefú al Día" facebook page, basically a news/event promoter page for everything local, someone said the following about the event: 

"It was a good way to incentivize the artisans to show their work but unfortunately there are people that are so hypocritical and shameless that they boast to be the promoters of the project, what a shame that these kinds of people exist that hoped this event would serve to show themselves off, but there is a God that judges the bad acts of these people by sending a blessed rain so that they don't complete their objective of being the prominent figures of this event."

This comment (about Lucho) came as a complete shock because it came from someone who I never would have expected to lash out like that, but it again was a friend of Magguli. That girl was telling everyone that Lucho and I had cast her to one side and taken "her" event as ours... when really, she was doing nothing helpful and showing up only to throw hissy fits and give excuses for her tardiness/lateness.  And the worst part about this whole mess is that if I wanted to fix everyone's misconceptions about Lucho's involvement in the event, I could publicize everything that Magguli has done (pocketed money, lied repeatedly, not shown up to even the most basic of responsibilities) but obviously that is not something I could do to anyone, let alone a 17 year-old girl. 

Here's how I responded to the comment, and here's how the person responded to me:

"______, with all my respects and thanks for your help in 1 rehearsal, there is a lot that you don't know about the organization of this event.  The idea was part of a plan developed years ago by this person that you refer to, and it is he who gave the idea to the two organizers recognized in the first stages.  I asked him to directly join the Organizing Committee because I had no human support to achieve the event, and thanks to him and the many days that he and I with other friends worked from 7am-midnight, we were able to complete the first parts of the Show, although we were interrupted by forces of nature.  This event is reprogrammed for April, financed by the Municipality, and hopefully on this date will we find only positive wishes for the success of this event that promotes the work of our artisans."

"My friend Kimberly, there is no problem/obstacle regarding me with the project, we have to recognize that it is a good idea to bring to light the products of all the artisans, we will have time to converse and give you a hand, I hope to have enough time to support you all in the next event, take care."

While that was diffused, the combination of the various comments over the last three days has been just too much for my physically and emotionally exhausted body to bear.  I cried 3 times yesterday, twice publicly, in front of Felipe the radio guy and in front of the mentioned artisan, and that's kind of bad to do in this "be strong, only children cry" culture.  Too bad I was raised by super-sensitive psychologist parents who never taught me how to hold back my tears! Damnit.  Then today my best artisan friend, in a meeting with other artisans and me, said that it made her really uncomfortable that Lucho appeared on stage as an organizer (at my insistence) and Magguli did not, when they thought that they were supporting Señorita Fexticum's social projects.  I told them, in general terms, that Magguli had not participated in any of the organizing in the crucial moments, and that the Show wasn't her idea, as we all thought.  There were more tears, and the artisans assured me that they believed me and supported me, but it was still frustrating.  People keep telling me to not worry about the criticisms or what other people think, but then they keep talking to me about it!

So basically this project refuses to go away, while the logistics were a nightmare, the piece that people saw created a lot of expectativas (expectations) so there's a lot of demand for us to reprogram it.  I also can't leave the artisans hanging, when they worked so hard to finish the products in time for the show.  We are planning on doing it in April with more support from the Municipality, but I have very little motivation to be involved... I have so many other projects I would rather be working on, and I just can't deal with small town bullshit + model attitudes + artisan attitudes.  It's too much.  So we might reprogram it for July instead as part of the month-long festival of Fexticum, so that it could be more of the Municipality's project and I could step away.  This would be better anyways so that the project gets institutionalized and remains after I leave.

I accredit a lot of what I've dealt with not necessarily to the culture here, but probably to factors that are common in a lot of small towns where everyone knows each other.  In talking with my mom, we decided that it seems like whenever someone stands out (like Lucho), people criticize.  I guess that's why people in Monsefú say pueblo chico, infierno grande (small town, big hell).  Previously, I didn't understand why people that had been involved in great public projects in the past now avoid working in any really public way with me.  They always wanted me to do all the talking and them to just work in the background, and now I understand why.  And it makes me sick that when someone here tries to do something good, they have to hide it or people will rip them to pieces.  And I feel guilty for repeated pushing Lucho to put his logo on the invitations, speak on the radio, and speak at the event, because I thought I was giving him his due credit, but turns out all I gave him was gossip.

So there you go, a nice little negative post for you.  I feel like overall I give a pretty rosy picture of Monsefú, because I don't want to criticize the culture or the people or anything in general terms... but if you want a realistic idea of my challenges here in site, here is the somewhat abbreviated version of it.  No worries, I will be fine, I'm just desperately in need of some personal and vacation time.  Luckily I'm going up to Piura (3 hours away) this weekend for a mix of work and pleasure, so I'll have some time to get out of here.  Through this event I also got to know some incredibly supportive and selfless people, so I've gained some great friends and work partners... and we are going out tonight to celebrate and dance with Grupo 5!

Does this look like anybody you know?

Does this face look familiar to you? ... that's right, ladies and gentlemen, I am now a saint.  Kidding, sort of, my face was just used in a religious mural inside Monsefú's chapel.  Last week, I was standing outside of the church when my friend Edgard, who works there, asked if we could talk for a second.  He introduced me to two artists that are painting murals all over the walls of the chapel.  They said they were almost done with one mural, but needed one more face for a female figure... they asked me if I would pose for a picture.  I found this pretty funny, but I also asked them why they were interested in using my face, when I'm not from Monsefú or even Perú... because I'm really against the obsession with featuring white people in TV shows, advertisements, everything here.  I told them I couldn't participate because I can't promote more gringo-ization.  They promised me it wasn't because I was white, it was just that they didn't want to use faces of people from Monsefú because of the animosity and jealousy between different families and groups (which makes some sense).  So, after a lot of pleading from Edgard, I caved.

Here's a wider view.

At least the other faces aren't too white.  Have a nice Sunday, everybody.