R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means to Me

Happy belated International Women's Day!  On March 8th and everyday, I want to give thanks to all of the women around the world who have been and continue to be pioneers in the worlds of work, family, and civic participation.  Considering the audience of this blog, I'd especially like to thank the men and women from my parents' generation who knocked down walls of gender stereotypes and broke the silence against issues of sexual violence so that more women can live happy, healthy, safe, and fulfilling lives.  Until recently, I had no idea how much your bravery should be appreciated.  

As I mentioned in a previous blog, I never saw myself becoming a "feminist" and when I was younger, I considered it somewhat embarrassing how my mother treated many things as gender issues, when I didn't see much of a problem with it.  I will always remember the look of concerned disapproval in her eyes as my teenage self watched trashy programs like MTV's "Real World" and she told me, "Kim, you know this is just television and isn't the real world..." I would roll my eyes and exasperatedly say "Yessss Mommmmm..." but now I get it.  She was concerned about how women were portrayed in these trashy shows, and she was concerned about the message her teenage daughter was absorbing from them.

I had the privilege of growing up under the impression that if I worked hard, I could do anything that I want in life, not matter whether I am a boy or girl.  As I grew older I definitely learned that this was not 100% true (for example, old boys club mentality in the workplace) but overall, I still had it pretty good.  After living in Peru for almost two years, I now understand how ridiculously privileged I was to grow up as a "liberated" woman.

I could write for pages and pages about the situation of women here, but instead I'll try to be succinct and just give you some bullet points about my life recently.  Keep in mind that what I experience are essentially "first-world problems" compared to the discrimination, objectification, and violence that many Peruvian women here will live with for most of their life (as you've read about in some of my "Monsefú Faces" profiles).

• All this past week, my sitemate and I visited the Monsefú radio programs to talk about various women's issues, in honor of International Women's Day.  We also dedicated all month of our once-weekly radio program to women's issues.  Our thought with this kind of project was that the people who most need to hear these messages are the women who live in the poorest, rural zones and/or aren't permitted to leave the house, so the best way to reach them is through radio (which the majority of people listen to), not a formal public event.  We covered topics including:
• Violence Against Women and the services of the Women's Emergency Center in Chiclayo
• Education of women and their importance in political and economic development
• A history of women in China over the past 100 years
• Street harassment 
• The objectification of women in the media (TV, newspapers, etc.)  It is BAD here.  The worst part is how many women seek objectification, evidenced by grossly exhibitionist shots from teenage girls all over Facebook and their responses of "thank you!" to the crude comments made by their male friends.
• Genderization and how that affects your kids in letting them express themselves fully
• Empowering songs for women- Aretha Franklin's "Respect" and Beyoncé's "Listen" (the latter of which has a Spanish version!)

This is always what the last (exterior) page of a regional newspaper looks like,
with the title "the bad girls." Usually the nudity is worse than this photo.

• Overall, we were treated as well as you could hope for by the radio hosts, and we received very positive reviews from the listeners.  However, we did have a laugh after one radio host wouldn't stop telling us how beautiful we were (on-air)... while we were trying to talk about empowerment of women!  It will be a longggg time before these kind of comments are viewed as unprofessional in Peru, so we pick our battles on other more important things.

• Speaking of more important things, our last radio interview led to me describing on-air some of what I went through in middle school (physical, sexual harrassment for about a year).  At the time, we were accompanied by a female teacher and her student who I happen to know well because she was an "All-Star" at our ALMA Girls' Leadership Camp last year (thank you donors!).  As we were signing off, she said to the listeners that any teenage girl who is going through something like I described should not be afraid to tell their parents, because she went through something similar, got her mother involved, and the situation was resolved.  I was so proud of her for being so honest and strong!!

• During this same week, my sitemate and I made a presentation to the public high school teachers about a sexual education project that we are going to implement, because it has already been approved by the school director.  The program will begin with 5 workshops each for the professors and parent association members, so that we are "all on the same page."  As we were explaining this, a male teacher raised his hand and asked if we could please explain what kind of educational degrees we had that qualified us to be teaching this, and what kind of relevant experience and training we have, because it seems very "odd" to him that two "young unmarried women" would be teaching these topics, especially to professors who are already professionals.  Thank God we are working hand in hand with the Health Center on this.  Our work partner (a female obstetrician) jumped up and very politely explained to him that this sensitive subject will be treated in a very professional manner, and that not only are the Peace Corps Volunteers qualified but they will be working with Health Center professionals as well.  Later, she made a little comment about the teachers being quite "special," which I really enjoyed from our very well-mannered partner.

• From what I can remember, this "young unmarried women" comment is the second-most sexist thing that has been said to me here (not counting the crude things said by strangers on the street), although I recognize it was mixed in with some age-ism as well.  The first-worst comment occurred when a former mayoral candidate asked me if I was going to be modeling a bikini at the Artisan Fashion Show, and when I told him "No," he said that he wasn't going to come, then.

• A few nights ago, my sitemate and I were not only harassed verbally on the street (around 8:30pm) but two young guys started following us until I whipped around and screamed at them to go away, saying "Stop disrespecting us!  This is harassment, I don't know you and I don't want to know you!"  As you know, the worst "street harassment" that has happened to me is when a group teenage of teenage boys in a mototaxi reached out and grabbed my butt while I was running.  Much worse things have happened to other female Volunteers.

• Today, I came across a disturbing item on a District Councilman's Facebook (he's like the 7th most important authority in Monsefú) -->
• His comment says "Have a good weekend, friends: Lucecita" (the girl's name)
• This is not the first time he has posted a "girl of the week" photo with a half-naked woman on his Facebook.  I remind you, he is a public authority.
• As you can see below, I responded, because I've decided that I have to speak up against these things, even if it means confronting a public figure.  Why am I here if not to break the silence on these issues?
• My response: "Mr. Councilman-- in your post on International Women's day, you said that women don't only want roses, they want respect.  Therefore, can you explain to me how your repeated publications like this one show respect to women?  We are not objects, and that an authority would promote things like this, with the "woman of the week" on his Facebook, which is a public space, seems very incorrect to me.  With all of my respects to you as a person.
• As you can see, someone responded to my comment.  Luis Gonzales is one of the most respected radio show hosts in Monsefú (the one who donates space to Peace Corps Volunteers to do our own mini-show), and he says: "This deserves a separate comment (which I translate loosely to "full response")... what happened, a slip-up or did they hack your Facebook??"  :) :) I love that comment, and I'm excited to see what happens from here.  So far, no response from the  councilman.  I'm not worried about political fall-out because this councilman has essentially no political power.  He has a bad relationship with the mayor and isn't very respected in general.  
• UPDATE: The Councilman not only didn't respond, but put together a slideshow of the "bombones" (bon-bons) of Monsefú, scanning up and down the bodies of girls between 17 and 25 years old.  I commented once more, and this time he responded by telling me that my Artisan Fashion Show promoted the beauty of Monsefú too.  This really hurt but after collecting myself I responded as calmly and rationally as possible, explaining the (huge) difference and how his promotion of women as sexual objects contributes to a vicious circle of objectification and inequality.  Sigh.

• My (real) mom is more worried about my safety that she was before, because I am getting so involved in women's issues, and thinks I could become a target.  As I told her, I will tell all of you:  I only speak out in certain situations, when it is safe and appropriate.  As you see in the "unmarried women" situation, often these kinds of comments can be treated very politely.  On the radio also, we are very even-tempered about these topics.  Other times, I need to be and can be a little more direct :)  And if my Mami Martha isn't worried, then you shouldn't be either Mom!

• Today, my sitemate Kimberly and I attended the formal flag-raising ceremony that is put on every Sunday by the mayor's office, and this time it was partially to honor International Women's Day.  The mayor (a woman) gave really great words for the event, and gave out a ton of awards to women who have made significant achievements in various lines of work and civic participation.  Before the ceremony started, the mayor told us that the national TV show "Public Enemies" was present.  From her comment about it being "one of those shows at 11pm" and it's name, I guessed that they were doing a political investigation against the mayor.  Not wanting to get involved with this, Kimberly and I left the ceremony a little early to avoid any potential interviews.  Sure enough, as soon as we parted ways on the other end of the park, the reporter chased down Kimberly, grabbed her and kissed her cheek, and told her how beautiful she was.  He then asked her general questions about Monsefú which she tried to answer politely until he suddenly grabbed her in a "Monsefú hug" (or so he said), told her (in her ear) how lucky he was to meet someone so beautiful, kissed her on the cheek again, and attempted to make her twirl while the camera-man ran his camera up and down her body.  She managed to get away at this point and call me (because I had walked away without any idea that this had happened).  Absolutely livid, I helped her contact Peace Corps' security officer who said he will have the US Embassy make a formal complaint with the TV station so that this piece does not air on national television.  We also called the mayor's office, who thankfully treated it somewhat seriously by saying this "shouldn't be tolerated." This was much more than I expected from the very traditional male Public Relations chief.  In general, he is a great guy, but he has also told me how great it is that I wear skirts because "too many women wear pants these days."

A picture of the TV sleazebag.

• UPDATE: Kimberly and I just came back from a meeting with the mayor and chief of public relations which left us feeling sick our stomachs.  While they did call the reporter to ask him not to air that "interview," they told him that we as foreigners were "sensitive" to those kind of things, and the female mayor said to us that this was all a big cultural misunderstanding, because we only shake hands and don't kiss on the cheek.  Kimberly did a great job of explaining to her that a kiss on the cheek is a nice part of Peruvian culture, but taking that farther into sexual harassment is not okay and not a cultural misunderstanding.  We're still hoping that Peace Corps will handle this and we'll see tonight if it airs on television.  

• I'd like to end on a positive note, so let me tell you about a wonderful moment I had yesterday.  I went to the neighboring town of Ciudad Eten with two other Volunteers, and as we were leaving, I heard "KIMBERLY!!!" and turned around to see a young girl named Liliana who was part of my summer vacation program last year, and who participated in our ALMA Girls' Leadership Camp.  I hadn't seen her in a year, and she was squeezed me so hard in a hug (which is pretty unusual among Peruvians)!  She introduced me to her parents and told us that she had been listening to us on the radio talking about women's issues.  She loved it because it was the same kind of message we gave to them at ALMA, and she says she is going to be a strong woman! :) :) She also begged me if she could be an ALMA All-Star (second-year campers who serve as Counselors in Training), which I will try to make happen!

So, on that last positive note, I would like to thank you all for your donations to our ALMA Girls Leadership Camp 2013, we have reached our donation goal!  I will hopefully have the donor list soon so I can thank you individually, and if you would still like to donate, we will have a link for our Boys Leadership Camp soon.

Women's issues are a cause I never saw myself becoming so attached to, but as you can see with the examples from just this week, the circumstances have fostered a deep passion in me.  While cultural change sometimes seems impossible, our young leaders like Leidy (the girl on the radio) and Liliana give reasons to believe that things are changing.  Over the last month, I have also engaged in a number of conversations with my host family, university age women, radio hosts, and authorities that suggest that consciousness is rising, and I believe that our work is partially responsible.  I hope that we have made some notable difference in the role and treatment of women here, because I know that the women here have forever changed me.