Yesterday

The news of the horror in Connecticut yesterday came to me around noon yesterday, from a call from my sitemate Kimberly, who had just seen the breaking news in an internet cafe.  My family has installed cable on our TV, so we were actually able to watch a few hours of CNN in English in the afternoon.  

I'm not sure I can explain how emotional I feel about yesterday, because I think my feelings are tied not only to the event but also to the difficulty in processing something like that from my current living situation.  I am so, so incredibly frustrated with my host family right now, but it's not their fault.  Today also happens to be the central day of a two-week long ceremony/celebration of their family's patron saint, so the house is full of guests and about 5 turkeys are being prepared in the kitchen for the huge party they are throwing tonight.  In particular, my host sister has been absurdly unaware and insensitive to my feelings about this event.  When the international news reported (only briefly) on the event last night (with some errors in the facts), my sister gave a sneer and shrug and said, "yeah, well that's normal in the United States."  With wide eyes and a loud voice, I responded to her (in front of her friends) that NO, this is not normal.  There have been an unacceptable number of mass shootings in recent years in the United States, but killing 20 CHILDREN between the ages of 5 and 10 years old is NOT NORMAL in the United States.  She actually argued back about this, acting like many other Peruvians I have come in contact with who think they know as much or more about the United States than I do.  This perception of the United States as a country where it is unsurprising to have a mass of kindergarteners shot at close range absolutely breaks me.  And, judging by the discourse on the news and social media, Mayra may actually have a more accurate reading of the United States than I do-- if we let this horror pass without changing some people's minds and making significant reforms to our laws regarding mental health screenings and access to assault weapons and unlimited ammunition, I will just not know who we are as a country...

I came to the decision that I will be miserable if I stay in Monsefu and attend my family's party tonight (where there will be lots of forced dancing and drinking and annoying questions about me and why I don't find a Peruvian to marry).  So, I am accompanying my family in the procession of their saint to the church, I will sit through Mass, and then I am going into Chiclayo to be with other Volunteers who are in town for the night.  I explained to my host mom that I'm going through a hard time and I need to be with other Volunteers tonight, because I will not be able to withstand the party.  She seemed somewhat understanding, but it's hard to tell.  My host sister then walked by room as she saw me packing and asked, "Are you coming to Mass or are you going out?" ...with a bit of malice in her voice.  We had a small fight last week about something unrelated that might still be there under the surface.

Tomorrow I'm going to spend with Volunteers too, hopefully avoiding the "second day" of the party... yes, all ages of adults are expected to drink themselves stupid tonight and then wake up early tomorrow to continue imbibing the spirits of of this religious celebration.  Sorry for the sound of judgement in my words, I love my family, but the drinking goes too far sometimes.

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I just got back from Mass.  I had a bit of a breakdown there, which in some ways is making me feel better.  Also, those family members who saw me now understand a little bit more that I am sincerely upset (except for my host sister who continues to be an ice queen), which I suppose is a good thing.  I'm really shafting my family by not being at the party that is so important to them tonight and tomorrow, but I hope they'll understand.

I also apologize for the lack of updates on my blog recently, it hasn't been for a lack of things happening here (and with my family in the States).  However, some of the things I planned to write about are complicated and at this point have stayed as half-written blogs.  Hopefully I'll be able to finish some of them soon.

3 Crazy Days in Pictures and Video

This email has a lot of media in it, so if you are reading in email please click on the title of the blog to view this on the website.

October 20th: Despedida (Good-bye Party) for Peru 16
The Peru 16 group has just finished their 2 years of service, meaning that we (Peru 17) are now officially the "seniors"- we are the next group to return back to the States!
Because of our status as "seniors," we were in charge of putting together the 16ers good-bye party.  I would say we did a pretty good job, but you can judge for yourself:

October 21: District-wide Artisan Fair
Organized by my Artisan Council, as part of Monsefú's anniversary (124 years since elevated to the title of "city.")  I am so proud of my Artisan Council, working so well together (even with negative, jealous comments from the outside) and putting on such awesome events.  They are the model for sustainable projects.

Rosa Muga, showing her embroidered art to the panel of judges, with her son Wuilmer (another artisan) in the background.

Candelaria, weaving with her waist-loom.  She is illiterate but quite the firecracker.

Winners in each different art, with the Secretary and Coordinator of the Artisan Council, Yolanda and Hector

October 23rd: Vocational Fair and my Birthday Party
This was one very full day... from 6:30am until 3:00pm I was leading the first Vocational Fair in Monsefu, and from 8:00pm to 2:30am I was celebrating my 24th birthday in plenty of Peruvian style.  My internet is being pretty slow so here is the direct link to view all my pictures from that day.

The Vocational Fair went as well as I could have hoped for.  I had some very appreciated help from other Peace Corps Volunteers and Monsefu university-age friends, who were crucial in the part of applying vocational exams (what should you be when you grow up?)  We couldn't give the results to the kids on the spot as I had hoped, but hopefully they will get their results this week and next.  We had 500 high school students attend the fair, in addition to the public in general, who circled through the central park of Monsefú, visiting stands set up by 21 universities, institutes and other schools in the region, who were sharing information about what degrees they offer, what the requirements are, what it costs, etc.  So between the 500 students and 21 higher ed institutions, I am happy with the participation and hope that the students got a lot out of it.  I will hopefully be talking to them more when we hand in the vocational test results.

My birthday party was celebrated in full Peruvian fashion.  My family contracted the most popular family-party DJ in Monsefu, so there were two industrial size speakers set up in our living room, along with his turn tables (he's a 40-something year-old man).  The party started off with a typical dinner for all the guests, and then the surprise arrived-- a mariachi band, contracted by a male friend of mine from Chiclayo.  Mariachi bands are not that uncommon for birthdays but it was definitely uncomfortable when the band starting calling this friend (Wilson) out by name to slow dance with me to a song about love.  My artisan friends will not stop making fun of me for this awkward "romantic" gesture!  The rest of the party was much more comfortable, dancing in the living room with my family and friends until 2am.  It was more than I ever could have hoped for in a Peruvian birthday!

Congratulations from World Connect!

Dear Kim,

CONGRATULATIONS! After reviewing your application, World Connect is pleased to inform you that your project has been approved for a grant. We were impressed by your plans to help your community and are delighted that we can support your project.

And just like that, Roberto and Lorena's modern dance academy has been financed!!

A few months ago, after the Youth Business Plan competition where we came in second, I applied for a grant to World Connect to finance the project.  I just learned this week that my proposal was "out-right" accepted, which means they were happy with how I presented it and didn't require any changes in order to finance it.  

So, we've got $1,500 and quite the fixer-upper for the next few months!  With these funds, this space will be given a new floor, improved walls, lighting, electrical connection, an electric welcome sign, full-length mirrors, and a sound system, and the young owners will get business cards.  We then hope to have a grand opening before the start of the summer camp season.

I had the pleasure of announcing this tonight, at Margarita's birthday dinner (Lorena and Roberto's amazing mother).  Seeing the expressions on their faces and hearing their thank-you's was definitely one of those Peace Corps "high's" they say that makes the "low's" worth it.  This all came about because of how hard Lorena worked in putting together the business plan.

The only part that made the night less than perfect was a feeling I got walking home from the celebration, with Hector and Wilmer, two of my best artisan work partners.  As they expressed happiness for Margarita's family and the dance academy group, I couldn't help but perceive a tinge of jealousy in their voices.  I can understand why-- it's very rare to come across grant money like this, because virtually no one in Monsefú is equipped with the knowledge or skills to put together a legitimate grant application, nor they do know of or have access to many grant sources.  So I'm sure their immediate thought is "Why didn't Kim put together a project like this with us?"  

There are plenty of reasons to that question, #1 this came out of a youth business plan competition where Lorena herself wrote a 30-page plan that served as the whole base for the grant application, #2 financing the construction of a new shared artisan workshop would be very expensive and not necessarily possible through a grant, #3 a shared artisan workshop is already a planned project in the Municipality, although it is not moving very fast and #4 the artisans are already putting together amazing activities and projects by themselves, without grants.  At least they found out directly through me... I think the reaction/rumors could be worse if they had heard about the project indirectly.  Anyway, I'm trying not to let my anxieties about this overbear the excitement for Margarita's family and the dance kids.

I've been working really hard this week in final preparations for two events: a Vocational Fair, where more than 20 higher education institutions will come to Monsefú to share info about their programs with high school students, and an Artesanía (Handicraft) Competition organized by my Artisan Council.  I'll be done with these events on my birthday, October 23, and then I hope to take some personal time before starting up with this dance academy implementation.  I think this is going to be a really fun project for November thru February.  After these past few months of "limbo," it's finally starting to seem like I have a plan for the next (and final!) stages of my service!

WORK

November - ?: Weekly radio program promoting healthy lifestyles and savings with 3 other Volunteers

November - December: Develop "Concept Book" for new artisan designs

November - December: Finish revising Youth Business Plan teaching manual

November - February: Implement, open and operate Dance Academy

March:  International Women's Day March 8, plan anti-machismo event

March - May: Implement Savings Banks in high school classes

March - May: Implement SexEd and Peer Health Promotors project with my sitemate

July: "Fexticum" Independence Day festivals in Monsefú and FINISH MY SERVICE!

FUN

Thanksgiving: Dad comes to my site, and we go to Cuzco and Machu Picchu!

New Years and January: Corbin comes to my site, New Years on the beach, and we travel through the Amazon by cargo boat!

February: City-wide paint-fight "Carnaval" in Cajamarca

March: To-be-decided Holy Week vacation, possibly in southern Amazon

April/May: Possible visit from Fran and her mom?

May: Close-of-Service Conference in Lima... it's (kind of) over!

Sometime end of July/beginning of August: Say my goodbye's and move back to the US of A.

So I hope this ridiculous schedule of vacations and fun, manageable projects will make my last 9 months everything that I want them to be.  Only 9 (and a half) more months! The end is coming fast, my friends.

Not So Fast...

Well folks, that "Mid-Service Crisis" that I thought I wouldn't have definitely has happened.  This difficulty of this last month and a half hit me as a surprise, but I remember now that I saw this coming months ago-- June through August my schedule was full of exciting milestones (1 year in country, 1 year in site), new arrivals (new volunteers who I got to train on 2 occasions, my site-mate arriving in Monsefu), work trips to Lima, and the amazing visit from my mom.  I knew that I couldn't take on new projects during those busy months, so I anticipated that September and October were going to be somewhat schedule-less and quiet, and hence difficult.  Add to that an unexpected trip to the States for my grandmother's funeral, and it's easy to for me to see what put me in this weird feeling of limbo.

At the same time, I've noticed that I've reached what might be my final stage of integration in site.  And ironically, that might be what it causing my "crisis," which mainly has to do with a complete loss of patience for corruption, incompetence, selfishness, and other fun realities of my work.  My host family, counterparts, and friends seem to feel much freer including me in conversations about personal conflicts, corruption, unfaithfulness, etc.- and while it is very enriching for my experience, it leaves me wondering how someone who lives here can continue working towards "good," in the face of such selfishness, ineptitude, cruelty, and futility.  I want to share with you all some examples of what I'm talking about, and I apologize in advance that there are some really upsetting stories here.

• Strikes are a constant reality in Peru.  You probably heard about the mining strikes, but what affects even more communities are the teacher and health worker strikes.  In Peru there aren't laws like in the States where jobs that are crucial to public safety/service can't strike (air traffic controllers, teachers, etc.) so the teachers actually do it all the time.  They recently ended a strike of TWO MONTHS, meaning there was no class for two months in the public schools, except for the teachers who broke strike to teach, and what kids are going to come to school when only one or two of their teachers are there.  There was then another national-level strike, but thankfully Monsefu didn't participate in the second one.  The strike is mainly about increasing their salary, which is somewhat valid, but at the same time they don't even work a full half-day and not showing up to class is commonplace.  These strikes combined with the generally horrendous quality of public and most private school in Monsefu is maddening.

• My host dad mentioned something really upsetting over lunch a while ago- a 14 year-old girl in his class was raped recently, by her uncle (father's brother).  Her parents are separated and when her mother found out, she called the girl's father- his response was "what am I suppose to do?  I can't charge him, he's my brother."  Worst part- because of the strike in the Health Post, she couldn't get prompt medical attention.  I don't know if she got medical attention later or not.  Then, my host dad says the same uncle had the nerve to escort the girl to school one day and introduce himself as her uncle.  I can't imagine the terror she is going through, my heart breaks for her.

Open sewage smells just wonderful.

• Corruption has been rampant.  It was just discovered that the woman in charge of artisan fairs in the provincial government had been making a 100% profit on all artisan stands, because she was charging the artisans S/.300 and giving over S/.150 to her office.  She was allowed to leave quietly because she was a political appointee from the past provincial mayor anyway.

•  This is what many of the streets in my town have looked like between June and now.  This was part of a huge sewage system replacement project, funded by the national government, executed by the local (municipal) government.  Well, turns out the national-level experts found that the project was over-valued by 23 million soles (9 million dollars)... a.k.a., more corruption from my mayor.  So, the project has been suspended for investigation and the streets are slowly being closed back up.  When I took my Politics of Corruption class in college, we learned that most corruption happens in public works, because it is easy to lie about prices or number of bags of cement needed.  That is definitely the reality here in Peru.

Felipe and I co-hosting FextiMODA

• The most popular radio host in town, Felipe, was detained for four days on charges that he accepted money to say false things about someone on the air.  He was released (after paying S/.3000, I believe) and is back on the air.  His first day back he apologized for "making a mistake," and accepted tons of calls and text messages from people voicing their support for him. He does lead and help a lot of great projects in Monsefu, but it's believed that he often personally benefits from them some way.  Just this September there were whispers that he had made a big profit on the 50th Anniversary committee of his high school, where the funds raised were supposed to go to replacing the school bathrooms.  You may remember Felipe as the guy who publicly criticized my Artisan Fashion Show project when it turned out badly the first time.  This last time around, when the artisans lead the show, Felipe was my co-host (My anger at him had cooled by then).  Three other Volunteers and I wanted to put together a weekly radio program with him, which would be a fantastic project, but is very complicated by this corruption business.  I don't want to give my passive support to him and his program, but he is also just so darn helpful and likeable.  And dangerous if you offend him.

Now, it's not all bad.  I'm not depressed, I've just been finding it difficult to stay motivated in my work. But at the same time, whenever it all goes to crap, I spend more time with my host family or other friends, and my affection for Peru is restored.  So, here are some positive moments over the past two months:

• My host mom "passed the egg" on me! The majority of Peruvians believe that when you are ill or had suffered a shock or scare, you can be treated by "passing the egg."  This involves rubbing an egg all over the affected person's body, so that the egg takes in all of the "bad."  My host mom wanted to pass the egg on me because I had a terrible nightmare and woke up a little weary from it (that's what happens when ridiculously violent news stories are playing at 11:30pm).  If a person is really ill/shocked, then the egg may actually crack during the passing (hmm...), or you may need multiple eggs to get all the "bad" out.  The egg is then broken into a glass to and you can examine the way it settles in order to find out something about the person's illness.  My egg is picture on the right, and you might be able to see some small white wisps in the center.  These small wisps apparently showed that I wasn't too bad... but still I was told to chuck the egg-water far away from the house as I was leaving!
• Last weekend, I went on an awesome camping trip with a handful of Volunteers, in a dry forest called the Bosque de Pomac that is about 1 hour from Chiclayo.  It is the site of many Moche (pre-Incan) pyramids, made out of mud.  We made the short hike up one of them to watch the sunset over the pyramids and trees :)  You can't see many trees here but these are the tops of the more-than 1000 year-old pyramids, run down by water over time.  We also got to see a current excavation site where they have found 80 bodies.

• This isn't exactly a positive story, but it will be a fun Peace Corps memory.  I helped my host dad kill a mouse/rat in the kitchen.  Our dog smelled it behind the sewing machine and we chased it around the whole kitchen, taking apart counters and everything to get at it.  Finally, it ran up a corner of the wall and my host dad caught it with a broom.  He asked me to hit the rat hard with the end of another broom, but I wasn't good enough at it (also, not sure I have the stomach for that).  We switched responsibilities, so I held the body still while he blunt-forced it death with the end of the second broom.  They were embarrassed that I wanted to take a picture but I promised them I wouldn't post it on Facebook, so no one in town would see it!

Host Dad Gilberto searching for the rat under a broken stove

The finished job.  The picture my family didn't want me to take

• My host family continues to be the best.  I had the worst day I've had in a while last week, after visiting the regional government and talking to my #1 least favorite Peruvian.  She is in charge of artisanry on the regional level and is completely paranoid, gossipy, manipulative, passive-aggressive, unreasonable and just downright crazy.  Explaining the conflict in any more detail would be too arduous, so basically I came home at lunch time and a few tears started to fall after we ate.  My host mom tried to comfort me telling me about how much some of the teachers at her job can suck too, and at the same time my host dad (who was standing) started imitating the Gangam Style dance behind her, while it was playing on TV.  He had me cracking up while my host mom kept trying to be serious, and he eventually came over and started rubbing her shoulders like a massage.  They are so adorable. They are still so in love, after being married 36 years and dating since high school.  I often catch them flirting and holding hands.

So, work is a constant up-and-down, but family is an almost constant up.

Here's a great picture of my family from my host nephew's 4th birthday party.

My Life in Tumblr Form

I'm going to assume most of my family isn't familiar with Tumblr, but it is a kind of blog that has gotten very popular as a site to collect still shots/short videos from TV shows and movies, and use them to describe something in your life.  It sounds more complicated than it is, the examples below will explain.  I just stumbled across a Tumblr dedicated to Peace Corps life and thought I would share my favorites with you.  I have no idea who made this or in what country they served, but goes to show again how similar our experiences are, wherever you are.  Humor is our best medicine!  Click on each phrase...

When people back home ask what Peace Corps is really like...

When people talk about joining the Peace Corps...

The first month in country...

When I walk through my village...

When I get harassed walking down the street...

When someone in my class shows they actually learned something...

When I think we're talking about work and then I realize I'm being hit on...

When I'm in a taxi and the guy next to me is like...

Mid-Service Crisis... (me right now)

When people in America say - why don't you just come home? (even more-so me right now)

When we see hot tourists...

Driving through the mountains on an old bus...

Every time I'm on Pinterest...

When someone in my village doesn't know who I am...

Those Moments

Warning: This post is a little existential, and very moody.

I've been feeling a little weird in site ever since I got back from my unexpected trip home the States almost two weeks ago.  For those of you who don't know, my grandmother passed away-  I was in Lima for mid-service Medical Checks when I got the call from my mom, so I was able to have my passport and American credit card overnighted to me and I was on a plane at midnight the next day.  I feel incredibly thankful that I was able to be with my family at that time, because I am sure I would have felt terribly disconnected if I wasn't able to travel.

After a number of days in Boston with my mom's family, I was lucky enough to spend a few days at home in DC.  One day, I drove my mom's car out to my dad's house, where I grew up.  I brought my favorite salad from SweetGreen, stole a Magic Hat #9 beer from the fridge, and sat down to have what I thought would be a very happy and peaceful solo lunch on my back porch.

I grew up with the incredible privilege of having five acres of backyard.  In the middle of Northern Virginia McMansionville, this was incredibly unusual, and only in rare moments of my childhood did I really appreciate it fully.  But in a number of "soul-searching" moments, I vividly remember wandering off into the woods, and feeling incredibly awakened by the nature around me.

My magical backyard, view from the porch.  Five acres of nature.

As I finished my lunch, I became very aware of the sounds around me.  Bird songs, calls and responses, from left and right.  And acorns falling, hitting leaves on their way down.  They seemed to fall with such force, and I became very aware of how long it had been since I had heard these sounds.  There are no acorns in Monsefu.  More than anything, what I heard was a deafening silence.  Maybe it's because my town in Peru is always full of background noise, but the silence and peaceful nature of my backyard hit me like a wall.  This being my second time visiting home during Peace Corps service, I was familiar with the feeling of walking around in a "dream."  The life I left in the United States is incredibly comfortable and familiar, but somehow doesn't feel real anymore- it feels like one big dream.

But this time, in that moment of deafening quiet, I felt like I was being nudged awake.  Everyone says that the key to happiness in Peace Corps is keeping busy, so I always try my best to do so when I start to feel down.  I get myself engrossed in a new project, or I visit a friend, or I take a day-trip to Chiclayo.  But the deafening power of the nature in my backyard seemed to erase all the other noises in my head.  Suddenly I was left with nothing but myself and the falling acorns.  It was completely overwhelming.  I felt a deep alone-ness and a heaviness in my chest, as if I just realized that something was terribly wrong.  But it felt kind of "right" too.  I didn't know what to do.  I wanted to embrace this beautiful nature and explore this feeling more, but I didn't know how to interpret it, the feeling was just stuck.  I wanted to cry or do something, but the anxiety of feeling caught between two worlds just kept building.  Is this the most awake I've ever been, or have I completely lost touch with the world I loved?  The anxiety got the best of me and I had to get up and go inside.

Now that I think about it, I've had somewhat similar feelings of "mental pergatory" on occasion in Peru, usually when I'm thinking about going to sleep.  I've gotten into a strong habit of putting myself to sleep with TV episodes on my computer, and it's become such a habit that no matter the hour, I feel a deep need to watch something.  

I've also been experiencing some unusual jaw tension in the last few months.  Last month I was waking up with terrible headaches from clenching my jaw, but that has gone away.  It's been checked out by a dentist who said I was fine, but I might get a second opinion.  I know this probably all sounds like I've got some anxiety issues going on, and maybe I do or maybe it is a temporary funk.  A lot of Volunteers hit a big low-point around 1 year, because you come to the realization that with everything you've fought through and achieved over the past year, you've still got another year left.  I don't know exactly what is causing these existential feelings and jaw tension, but I know I'll be okay.  It's just hard to get out of a funk when my work is self-scheduled, and most of my current projects involve a lot of time on the computer.  I think that's the main issue, I haven't had much variety to my days recently and bad habits of sitting on Facebook for hours are getting reinforced.  I feel like I've done nothing but sit unproductively at my desk for the last two weeks.  I hope I don't end up regretting writing all of this out on a public blog, but I feel that Peace Corps Volunteers get a special "free pass" in being moody, and I did want to get this all out in writing.  Thanks for reading.  And thank you Robin Shirley for the very sweet care package :) 

Monsefu Faces: Roberto, Lorena and Margarita

In Lima with Lorena and Roberto, eating their first burritos

I'm thinking that a lot of my blogs from now on are going to be about the people who are most important to my experience in Monsefu.  Two of the most important people in my work and life in site right now are Lorena and Roberto.

Lorena is 25 (although she looks about 16) and Roberto is 23.  They are two of seven sons and daughters of a woman named Margarita.  She's an artisan woman who I met around March, when she joined an association for the first time.

Margarita dressed up in a traditional blouse, weaving her straw hat and selling ceviche

Margarita is truly from the world of "how things used to be" in Monsefu (and how they still are, in the poorest areas).  She grew up way out in the rural areas of the district, one of God-knows how many children.  What I do know is that her father wouldn't let her be educated, not even through primary school.  And she cried and cried about not being sent to school.  She told me that at the age of 15, she secretly started attending night classes, and only at that age did she learn to write her name.  Today, she reads well, but I have not seen her write.

In talking about her past, she mentioned "when one of the babies died."  It's somewhat common, especially from her generation, to hear about miscarriages and infants dying, but I was still afraid of the answer... how many babies did you lose, Margarita?  Six.  She has seven children that lived, and six that died.  Can you imagine that?  Roberto and Lorena are the youngest, so they never met those brothers and sisters, but they say some of them had names.  Maybe the others were miscarriages, but at least some of them were real, big, babies.  And their mother knows all of their birthdays.

One thing I still don't know enough about is how Margarita raised this family.  There was obviously a husband at some point, and when we were filling out some paperwork I found out that he is still alive in Lima.  She claimed (in the presence of a stranger) that he comes to visit every once in a while, but outside of that conversation I have never heard Margarita or her kids ever mention him.  Maybe he was around long enough to get the oldest kids into school, because I can't fathom that she and they were able to support themselves.  But, she did mention that she would weave straw hats (a traditional handcraft in Monsefú) at all hours of the night by candlelight, to get together enough for her kids' school fees.  Somehow, five or six out of the seven kids are studying or have higher education degrees (university or vocational college), and one just finished his master's degree.  Unbelievable how much can change in one generation.  I imagine that at this point, the kids support their mother financially, because she still spends her day weave straw hats and is just recently trying to become a "caterer" for weddings and other events.

If you're interesting in hearing a little bit more about the hat weaving process, watch this video.  The hats made in Monsefu can take multiple weeks to finish.

So, when I started my youth business plan class, I mentioned it to Margarita and she asked me to leave the information for her son, Roberto, who might be interested.  Roberto ended up not having enough time to attend class because he was in rehearsals for a dance competition, but Lorena showed up instead.  Her project was to help her brother Roberto open a dance academy where, in her words, "the youth of Monsefú can discover and develop the talents they carry inside them."  Although her attendance wasn't outstanding, she quickly distinguished herself as the student most serious about finishing her business plan.  She is currently studying Business Administration in a vocational college in Chiclayo.  In the end, Lorena was the only one to finish her business plan, out of about 10 youth that I had taught in 16 sessions of 2 hours each.  We spent many long nights crunching numbers to get the 30-page plan together, but she was determined to give her younger brother the opportunity to open this dance academy, which would benefit the at-risk youth of Monsefu.

Meanwhile, I got to know Roberto fairly well because Margarita convinced the Municipality to give him a spot as a Tourism intern.  He is easily one of the hardest-working people in the building, and the mayor pays him pennies.  He is still hoping they will employ him permanently, but he also has a very positive attitude about experience being valuable, whether it is paid or not.  He is receiving a degree in Tourism and Hotel Management from a vocational college in Chiclayo, where he studies on scholarship because he works as the choreographer of their dance group.  As far as I know he is completely self-taught in dance, from watching other people and videos, and has recently put together his own dance troupe (which he wants to expand into a dance academy, offering classes).  Here is the link to some videos from the dance troupe (I'm helping them upload performance videos to YouTube).

As my local winner, Lorena won the opportunity to present her business plan in the U.S. Embassy in Lima, competing with winners from other Peace Corps sites for financing of the projects.  We had enough money in the budget to bring a second person from site, so Roberto came.  I am so glad he did, because it turned out that he has amazing natural talent for pitching a business plan... or he has some other education that I don't know of.  Either way, we decided that Roberto would be involved in the presentation too, even though he didn't take the business plan course, because he would be the best person to answer questions about the academy.

Roberto and Lorena, presenting their business plan in front of a panel of judges and other Peace Corps Volunteers and their local winners, in the U.S. Embassy (August 2012) 

I was really nervous for their presentation, because it was hard to tell if Lorena truly grasped all of the financial analysis in the plan that we had written together, and her practice runs were very dry and memorized.  I was made doubly nervous when we were getting ready to leave for the embassy and I found her in jeans and a tube top, asking me if she should put a sweater on.  I tried to contain my shock and in the calmest voice I could manage I asked her, "I thought you said you brought something professional to wear?  Do you have anything else?"  Her only other option of shirt was a plaid button-down, and she told me that she didn't bring non-jean pants because she doesn't own any non-jean pants.  Well, I guess you can't get mad at that.  She managed to put together a very presentable outfit by borrowing my black leggings, which had to be rolled at least 6 times around her tiny waist, and my knit blouse which looked almost like a dress on her.  Problem solved!  We had the benefit of being the last of 7 projects to present in our group, so I passed her a couple of notes... things like "Listen to how dynamic he is, you can do that too!" and explanations of our complicated "equilibrium point," which she was struggling to understand clearly.  Right before they went up, Roberto leaned over to me and said "I'm going to open the presentation.  Don't start the slides until I am off the stage.  Got it?"

Little did I know what they had conspired.  Roberto gave a warm welcome to the audience and then asked them to clap out the same rhythm that he was clapping.  He started break-dancing.  Then he asked them to give him another rhythm- he salsa-ed for them.  Lastly, he showed a little traditional marinera from Monsefu.  Then he jumped off stage, pointed at me, and I started the opening music to our PowerPoint presentation.  Lorena took it away with fantastic energy, and the judges couldn't contain their comments and questions when we showed a video of the current rehearsal space.  I was on the verge of delirious giggles the whole time because I was so proud and blown away by them.

The overall quality of presentations in our group was amazing, so we were more than happy to win an honorable mention (second place) and Best Oral Presentation!  Also, now that we have a well-written business plan, I am very optimistic about the possibilities of finding financing elsewhere.

Accepting their certificates for Best Oral Presentation, with the Director of Peace Corps Peru (next to me) and the President of the American Chamber of Commerce in Peru.

One of the best parts of their presentation is that Margarita was able to be there to see it, along with an older son who lives in Lima.  She just kept repeating "I never thought I would see my children present something like this, in the American Embassy..."  That sounds very similar to what she said when I asked her to host lunch for a group of visiting Peace Corps Trainees in Monsefu- "I never thought I would serve lunch to a group of foreigners in my house, I feel so honored."  The things she "never imagined" keep adding up, because my new site-mate is now living in her house.  They were the family I recommended to Peace Corps as a host family for my site-mate, and it seems to be going well for all parties.

Not sure I can top a story like Margarita and her family in the next editions of "Monsefu Faces," but her story is somewhat characteristic of Monsefu.  She's not the first artisan woman who has told me that her father wouldn't let her go to school, and that now has multiple professional children.  The things women like her have lived through I will never be able to imagine, but I feel so lucky to hear her stories and experience her joy in seeing her children succeed.

1 Year Video, por fin!

1 year ago today, I swore-in with the US Ambassador to Peru as a Peace Corps Volunteer.  12 months of short video recordings since that day have finally been put together in an 11-minute video, representing my Year 1 in Peace Corps.  Of course, the dark moments don't get caught on tape, so take this video with a grain of salt, but if you're looking for some classic "I should quit my job and join the Peace Corps" stuff, here it is!  Lots of cameos from friends, both Volunteers and Peruvians, who made my first year so incredible.  I am so thankful for the opportunity that I have been given and the things and people I have experienced this past year.  And all with the support and encouragement of my family and friends back home, which has meant the world to me.  Love you all.

I Wanna Be Where the People Are

Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything?

Look at this trove, treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything

I've got gadgets and gizmo's a plenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
(You want thingamabobs? I've got 20)
But who cares? no big deal - I want more

I wanna be where the people are

I wanna see wanna see 'em dancing

Walking around on those -

(What do you call 'em? Oh) - feet!

Flipping your fins you don't get to far

Legs are required for jumping, dancing

Strolling along down a -

(What's that word again?) - Street

Up where they walk, up where they run

Up where they stay all day in the sun

Wandering free

Wish I could be part of that world

What would I give if I could live

Out of these waters?

What would I pay to spend a day

Warm on the sand?

Bet'cha on land, they understand

Bet they don't reprimand their daughters

Bright young women, sick of swimming

Ready to stand 

And ready to know what the people know

Ask 'em my questions

And get some answers

What's a fire and why does it -

(What's the word?) -burn?

When's it my turn?

Wouldn't I love

Love to explore that shore up above

Out of the sea

Wish I could be part of that world

Personally, I think that "Part of Your World" is one of, if not the best, Disney song of all time (I'd also consider "Colors of the Wind" and "Circle of Life.")  As a little girl, Ariel and her song captivated me.  

When my mom came to visit recently, she brought small presents for each of my host niece and nephews.  For my 6 year-old niece Daniela, she brought a Little Mermaid coloring kit that including pages to be designed and printed out with your own characters to add to the story.  Daniela absolutely loved it and asked for my help in scanning her photo in, designing her character, and printing out the pages.  When we started coloring, she kept asking me what colors to use for Flounder's body, Ariel's hair, Ariel's fins, etc.  I didn't think much of this, because many Peruvian kids, teenagers, and young adults are so accustomed to rote memorization that they ask for direct instruction on everything, including things like what color pen to use when writing, whether to color in the box or make an "X," etc.  So I assumed that this was the case with the Little Mermaid, until I later realized that she had never seen the movie.  WHAT!!!  I had assumed that with the ubiquitousness of all American movies (especially cartoons) in Peru, that she must know Ariel.  But I guess the "Classics" aren't as well known!  Of course, upon learning this, I set a date with her mom to come over and watch the Little Mermaid with her.

I don't have a physical picture, but it was a day that I will definitely consider one of my favorite Peace Corps memories.  Daniela and I cuddled on the floor while watching a movie that has been magical to me since I was her age.  Albeit the Spanish version of "Part of Your World" doesn't measure up to the English one, but she loved "Under the Sea."  We ate crackers and drank our juice together.  And I was in heaven. 

I can't bear the thought of leaving this girl in less than a year.

Watch out for Stray Fireworks

These months of June - August have been a very interesting time of transition for me, as I marked 1 year in country on June 10th and approach 1 year in-site on August 21st.  I have been traveling a lot for both work and play, so haven't taken on any new, big projects- have just been finishing up  those already en camino, and working on updates to our business plan manual.  And, there are other signs that the time are a-changing for me:

• Two weeks ago, I hosted a group of 8 new business volunteers in Monsefú, where they completed their field-based training (FBT).  Hosting FBT has been something I've wanted to do since I completed it as a trainee, so it was a lot of fun having fresh, bright-eyed trainees in my site, and so excited to teach in the Institute (vocational college).  And they did a great job, the students had a great time and have been creating small food businesses all over the place since the training! Those trainees have since gotten their site assignments, so four of them will be in my region.

Renato, our Regional Coordinator, taking on the role of banker in the loan application part of the training (the most exciting and useful part for the participants, I think)

• This past weekend, the Artisan Council that I organized put on the same kind of fashion show as I did for Mother's Day, this time for the big Independence Day celebrations here.  This made me so happy - they all worked together, although not without some arguments, and a great product turned out.  And I did essentially none of the organizing.  Yay for sustainable projects!!  And yay for unity of the artisans!!  Also, a huge thanks to the group of Peace Corps Volunteers that came to the show and stayed for the whole thing :)

Me and all the artisans who participated, on stage together 

• I may not have mentioned this, but Monsefú also hosts a German volunteer, from a pre-university one year program.  Dominik and I arrived within a week of each other, and I remember our first introduction like it was yesterday.  Last night I attended his goodbye-party; it feels really weird to say goodbye to someone who arrived the same time I did.

Having a grand old time with his mama

• At the party last night, I was informed that the radio in Monsefú had announced the birth of a baby named Kimberly... the parents liked my name and used it for their child!  It's spreading!
• Next week, my future SITE-MATE is visiting!  I asked Peace Corps to place a Youth Volunteer in Monsefú, because there is plenty of work for the two of us and Monsefú needs more support in the area of youth development and health.  She's going to be living with some of my dear friends.  And guess what her name is... Kimberly.  Monsefú is going to think that all American girls are named Kimberly.  She'll be here to stay at the end of August.

• In one of my two upcoming work trips to Lima in August, I'm considering getting a tattoo!  For the last four years, I've been thinking about getting one on my foot, and while in Peace Corps I've figured out exactly what I want.  I want to put "Love Saves Us," with a little Peace Corps dove.  The meaning for me is essentially the same as Lesson #10 of Things I Learned in Year 1.  What do you all think?

• One thing that isn't changing that should be is the weather.  It has gotten colder at night, but we've had very few days that feel like the coastal "winter" that I arrived in... although keep in mind that winter here in the north means like 65-70 during the day, vs. 90-100 in the summer.  It has been unusually warm for all but a few weeks, which has a lot of people really worried because a warm winter is a sign of a coming El Niño.  Forecasters are predicting it too, but can't say when it will be, between now and next April.  Although it's supposed to be comparably mild, it will still be disastrous for Monsefú and other towns in northern Peru, because it will bring mosquitoes and disease, destroy crops, flood the streets that have no drainage system, and wreck the old houses and buildings that are built out of sticks and adobe mud bricks... that includes the huge public market. 

This is storage room of our house, in the middle of being patched with cement.  Half of our house (not where I sleep) is still made out of sticks and adobe.  In the last El Niño, the roof of the living room collapsed.  That night, because of the heat, my family had considered sleeping in the living room where it is cooler, and they would have been killed if they did.

I end this post with a story that will likely turn into one of my strongest memories of my Peace Corps experience.  In the Artisan Fashion Show (Fextimoda) this weekend, I was asked to help MC the event with the radio guy (yes, the same one who publicly criticized the first fashion show.  Anyway...).  So, as I was talking, some municipality workers decided to set off a firework, ridiculously close to the stage.  A piece hit me right in the neck, burning my hair, neck, and (borrowed) blouse!  It hurt for a second but I thought the worst was over.  Apparently, my hair and blouse kept burning, so the radio guy started slapping me in the back to put it out, while the crowd was screaming because apparently my hair on fire was visible to all.  I was pretty unaware of everything that was going on, so the Volunteers in the audience said my completely-calm face was incredibly weird and funny, in retrospect.

I was forced off stage in all the mayhem and it caused quite the scene backstage... the artisan whose blouse had been burned was super pissed and the municipality workers came running to do their best to save face, telling the artisan that it wasn't a big deal and could be paid for, which only made him more mad.  Others were doing their best to help me (or get in on the excitement), clipping my singed and knotted hair off to the side so it didn't get mixed in my neck wound.  My hair still smells funky, but overall I came out completely fine.

My neck- sounded a lot more dramatic than the injury actually was.  And while I lost a significant amount of hair, I don't think it's noticeable.

While I find the whole thing pretty funny, my Regional Coordinator was not happy and wants to talk to my mayor about it.  I just hope the blouse gets paid for!  I'll try to get a picture of that too.

Mom's Guest Blog- Visiting Kim's Home

Dear friends and family,

You may think it strange for me to say “Kim’s Home.”   She misses her US home but Kim has made a home for herself in Monsefu, Peru. A second home and a definite primary home for now.  She has a mother, father, sister and sisters and brother-in-laws, cousins and extended family that she experiences as her own. They experience her the same way.  She is incredibly embedded in the community with mutual love and respect. I ended up the same way, feeling so embedded in the families and friends she has established that it was hard to leave the Peruvian welcome and the home my daughter has created.  

The Peruvians are different.  The families that she socializes with value relationship beyond anything else.  They are present in the moment with you and say it like it is.  They questioned me, as they have with Kim about how it is that “We would let our children leave home at 18”.  Their question is about our different cultural mores and values.  For them, the children are always in touch and really don’t leave home until they are married and even then the mother keeps her rule, is very involved and her children are nearby and involved. I explained that separating for us was in the best interest of the child and her/ his development of autonomy. It wasn’t an emotional separation but a supporting of the cultural mores and values that I/we/they grow up with which has to do with independence, self respect and a desire to further your growth and achievements. I deeply respect the value of family and think we could benefit by focusing on the family more.  This was hard for them to understand. We had great conversations.

Host Mom and Dad (far side), host sister, host brother, and nephew

Host Mom and the family of another host sister

I feel so grateful that I had this time with Kim and her family in Monsefu. I felt such honesty, trust, curiosity and affection.  They are good, good people. I don’t know how Kim will be able to leave. I mentioned that to her and she agreed saying she can’t and does not want to imagine it.   

 I do imagine what will happen. Kim will leave with great sadness and her heart strings will be stretched beyond belief. It will be emotionally tortuous and she will leave or I will come to get her. I humorously said this to the family with whom she lived for three months when she was in her initial training June of 2011. They humorously/seriously said that they are due for an earthquake and she will not be able to leave when it happens. This was after we experienced a possible tremor with them in their home.  They then in all seriousness told me about the earthquakes they have experienced and the loss of life and home that has occurred. They live with this constantly. When they hear a possible tremor they quickly all go together to hear how the dogs are barking outside.  They can tell whether they should run to shelter or not by the sound of the barking dogs.

Her first host family in Lima, where we experienced the tremor.

I turn now to some of the funny and not so funny predicaments. I’ve told you how relational the Peruvians can be.  You might not feel that way in a car on the Peruvian roads.  More frequently than not there are no stop signs and surely no stop lights.  Drivers beep as they go through an intersection.  Your life is in their hands.  Quickly I ascertained that most drivers are very competent and know how to navigate their way in Peruvian city traffic without getting hit. With one driver however, both Kim and I came to feel like our lives might be in danger. Kim said “Please!” to the driver who aggressively, irritatedly swerved in and out of traffic traveling at an extreme speed.  I felt like we were in a video car racing game where he was bent on winning. Thankfully we all won and lived. Unfortunately we passed an accident where another driver was not so lucky, and an ambulance was on the scene.  He may have slowed down a little then.

Another cultural aspect that I earlier described as an asset can also be experienced as a discomfort. Most families are focused on relationship but so much so that you can feel trapped and unable to withdraw in a way that is respectful. Having figured this out with Kim’s help I was able to try to remove myself from dinner at a very poor family’s house at around 10:00 pm saying, “Kim please translate to this family, your mother is very, very tired and you have to put her to bed”.  It took us at least another ½ hour to leave.  Time is not experienced in Peru as it is here and it is insulting to use time as a reason for leaving the relationship.

The family we were with until 10:30pm, and the German volunteer they host

 I have described this trip to my friends as the most interesting and diverse I have ever had. You will understand why. We next traveled to Pacasmayo on the coast/beach.  We stayed at a hostel for $7/night which was just what we needed…clean, two beds, great bath. Kim was participating in a 10K race the next day on hilly, beautiful terrain and quaint villages. A Peace Corps volunteer originally developed this marathon which monetarily and otherwise profits the people and in the town.  All of a sudden I was speaking with Americans, a lot of Peace Corps volunteers who had chosen to pay and participate in this event. It was so strange at first. Do I kiss everyone on one side of the cheek to say hello and goodbye?  I came to understand that I needed to do that in our last town.  But these were Americans. The Peace Corps volunteers seemed to wait for my cue.  They are so socially conscious.  Kim said, “Must be strange for you to speak English now…absolutely yes.”  It was a wonderful time meeting some of her comrades and relaxing.  The Peace Corps is a tight supportive community and I felt privileged to experience it.

Kim at the start of the race, with other Volunteers and Peruvians

REAL ceviche!

We then, through a couple of flights, buses and crashing in another hostel in Lima made it to the city of Arequipa, one of the oldest towns in Peru. We took altitude medicine to help and it did. We hiked in the morning to see condors flying in a canyon twice as deep as the Grand Canyon here in the States. We bathed in tempered pools over-looking majestic scenery and felt very pampered for one night in the luxurious spa/hotel where we were staying. Back the next day to Arequipa city to indulge in fine food and lodging. How we got there was on a local bus that broke down twice and smelled of dirty diapers for a while.  We then traveled to Lima again and spent time there before I left.  These cities are of course a very different experience than how I spent my first few days.  I was so enriched by being with my daughter who navigates her way through Peru like a local. I never could have had this experience without her. I am so appreciative of this opportunity. I must add that anyone with which she had to negotiate money usually tried to rip her off.  She constantly had to be on the alert as an American who supposedly is rich and can pay more so they increase their rate.  That was really saddening to me.  She is there to help and loves her Peru yet get’s experienced as an ugly American.  She handles it well but it is a big stress.

The majestic condor birds and Colca Canyon

The thermal baths

Delicious and healthy alpaca meat, in a fantastic restaurant in Arequipa

I love you Kim.  I’ve only gotten a clue of what you have done in such a short amount of time and I couldn’t be prouder of your choices and how you are implementing them.  It is clear the impact you have already made and how people work with you because you have such  respect and care for them.  My father always said, “The more intelligence and education you have the more you should be able to understand and communicate with anyone.”  My father would be so, so proud.

More love and respect than you can imagine,

Kisses to all of you on the right side of the cheek,

Marianne

The complete picture album: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10100571325396136.2607184.1526375&type=3&l=8ade352bee