Reflecting on 9/11, from 3,000 miles away / Meditando sobre el 11 de septiembre, 3.000 millas de casa

(para la traducción en castellano, baja la página)


Not only is this the first time I will commemorate the anniversary of 9/11 from outside of the United States, but this is the first time that the day is hitting me so hard.  There are a number of things I have been thinking about over the last week- a desire to share this day with other Americans, reflections on what that event meant to me as a 12-year-old, what it means to me today, and thoughts on how to explain my sentiments to my Peruvian friends and family.


Over the past 9 anniversaries of 9/11 that have gone by, I don't remember spending a lot of time watching footage of the towers and Pentagon being struck or in flames.  Maybe it's the tendency for Peruvian news to be more graphic, or maybe these images are being replayed in the States too, but I feel like I have spent a lot of time over the last few days watching the images that make my heart drop to my stomach.  Like many kids at my school just outside of DC, I was picked up by my parents that day and I remember spending hours sitting on the floor of their bedroom, just trying to process and understand what was happening.  It wasn't until this week that I really remembered watching little black figures spray off the sides of the towers, as American men and women jumped to a quicker death than the one that was awaiting them.  I think those were the images that hit me most as a 12 year-old, because I was able to understand the event in terms of a huge fatal fire... but I had no idea what terrorism was, and why this group of murderers had chosen to kill so many Americans in such an awe-striking way.  


During our 10 weeks of training in Lima, we were asked on numerous occasions in Spanish class to discuss our opinions and feelings on 9/11 and the War on Terror.  Each time, our group of 5 would get quiet, with a few chuckles of disbelief and exasperation, because the task of verbalizing the feelings that those memories evoke is hard enough in English.  We reacted to these assignments with melancholy and bitterness, and were never really able to complete them.  A classmate explained to our teacher (in English) that these subjects have been "beaten to death" and they are exhausting topics that we don't want to talk about any more.  I think it was especially hard for us as Peace Corps trainees to discuss the topic, because we are a group of people who clearly have fierce feelings about defending the values and reputation of the U.S.


But in some ways, at least for me personally, the topic has not been "beaten to death."  I am experiencing the anniversary of 9/11 in a new way, as a 22 year-old, living in a foreign country as a representative of the United States, with the goal of representing my county as it deserves to be represented- with hard work that achieves new development, new opportunities, and increased trust and understanding.  Peru is a country that knows terrorism very well.  Between 1980 and 1992, Sendero Luminoso (Shining Path) and other groups created such constant and widespread fear that Peruvians were scared to leave their houses, and travel outside of the community was pretty much out of the question.  Andean communities experienced "popular justice," in which terrorist cells came into the community, captured a "traitor" such as a teacher or mayor, and presented him/her to the public for execution.  The silence of the neighbors was taken as support for the execution, and anybody who spoke out against the killing might be executed next.  The constant state of fear was made worse by the fact that you didn't know who to trust, since both terrorists and military members committed the atrocities.  This isn't ancient history- this only ended 20 years ago.


I am not going to try to make a simple "take away message" from what this day means to me, as an American and as someone who lives with Peruvians who experienced a completely different kind of terrorism.  These events are more important than that.  I can't boil down all my feelings on 9/11 and the War on Terror into a blog-post, just as I couldn't articulate those feelings in Spanish class.  But reflecting on the causes, experiences, and effects of terrorism across the world does give me new food for thought in my work as a Peace Corps Volunteer.


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Hoy día no es solamente la primera vez que conmemoro el aniversario del 11 de septiembre afuera de los EEUU, pero también es la primera vez que este día me ha chocado tanto.  Yo he pensado en varias cosas esta semana- mi deseo para compartir este día con otros Americanos, reflexiones en como me importó este evento cuando tuve 12 años, que significado tiene para mi hoy día, y pensamientos en como puedo explicar mis sentimientos a mis amigos y familiares peruanos.

En los aniversarios más recientes del 11 de septiembre, no recuerdo pasando mucho tiempo mirando los imágenes de los torres y el Pentágono chocados y encendiendo.  Quizá es por causa de las noticias e imágenes más explícitas en Perú, o de repente están repitiendo estos imágenes en los EEUU también, pero parece que haya pasado mucho tiempo en los últimos días mirando los imágenes que hacen mi corazón caerse hasta mi estómago.  En el 11 de septiembre del 2011, igual a muchos jóvenes en mi colegio, mis padres me recogieron de las clases para ir a casa.  Recuerdo pasando horas sentada en la alfombra del cuarto de mis padres, sencillamente intentando a procesar y entender que estaba sucediendo.  Esta semana recién me hizo recordar como yo miré figuritas negritas cayendo de las fachadas de los torres, hombres y mujeres americanos saltando para una muerte más rápida que la que estaba yendo.  Creo que estos imágenes fueron los que me chocaron más como una niña de 12 años, porque podía entender el evento como un gran incendio mortal… pero no tenía ningún idea de que significa el terrorismo, y porque este grupo de asesinos eligieron a matar tantos americanos en esta manera tan dramática.

Durante nuestras 10 semanas de capacitación en Lima, en las clases de castellano nos pidieron muchas veces a discutir nuestras opiniones y sentimientos sobre el 11 de septiembre y la guerra contra el terrorismo.  Cada vez, nuestro grupo de 5 alumnos se volvieron muy callados, con unas risitas de incredulidad y exasperación, porque la tarea de verbalizar los sentimientos evocados por estas memorias ya es difícil en inglés.  Reaccionamos a estas tareas en una manera muy melancólica y amarga, y nunca podíamos terminarlas completamente.  Un compañero explicó a la maestra (en inglés) que estos temas han sido ya repasados hasta el cansancio, que nos agotan, y que no queremos discutirlos más.  Creo que era difícil discutirlos especialmente para nosotros como aspirantes de Cuerpo de Paz, porque somos un grupo de gente que lógicamente tienen sentimientos muy intensos sobre la defensa de los valores y la reputación de los EEUU.

Pero de algunas maneras, por lo menos para mi personalmente, el tema no ha sido repasado hasta el cansancio.  Estoy encontrándome con el aniversario del 11 de septiembre en una forma nueva, como una joven con 22 años, viviendo en un país extranjero como representativa de los Estados Unidos, con la meta de representar mi país en el imagen merecido- representándolo con trabajo duro que logra nuevo desarrollo, nuevas oportunidades, y la aumentación de confianza y entendimiento.  El Perú es un país que conoce muy bien el terrorismo.  Desde 1980 hasta 1992, Sendero Luminoso y otros grupos crearon tanto temor, constante y generalizado, que los peruanos tenían miedo de salir de la casa, y viajes afuera de la comunidad no eran factibles.  Comunidades andinas sufrían “la justicia popular,” en que las células de terroristas llegaban, capturaban a un “traidor” por ejemplo un maestro o el alcalde, y lo presentaban al público para ejecutarlo.  El silencio de los vecinos lo tomaban como apoyo para la ejecución, y la persona quien se oponía la matanza podía ser la siguiente ejecutada.  El estado constante de miedo se hacía peor con la falta de conocimiento con quien se podía  confiar, porque las barbaries fueron cometidos no solamente por los terroristas pero también por los militares.  Solo hace 20 años que ocurría esto- no es historia antigua.

No voy a intentar a encontrar una lección simple de este día y como me importa, como americana y alguien que vive con peruanos quienes sufrieron otro tipo de terrorismo muy distinto.  Estos eventos importan y merecen más.  No puedo reducir todos mis sentimientos sobre el 11 de septiembre y la guerra contra el terrorismo a un blog, por el mismo estilo que no pude verbalizar estos sentimientos en la clase de castellano.  Pero meditando en las raíces, las experiencias, y los efectos del terrorismo en todo el mundo me da más razones para pensar en mi trabajo como Voluntaria de Cuerpo de Paz.

Pre-Service Training in 8 minutes

As a Macbook Air owner for a grand total of about 4 months now, I just finished my FIRST iMovie project!  I tried it out on my videos and pictures from Pre-Service Training, and here's the result.  You better like it, because it took approximately 4 days/12 HOURS just to UPLOAD the darn thing, thanks to interrupted and slow internet.



Also, my permanent mailing address is updated in the right-hand column.  I would love to receive mail!  But let me know if you do send something, because I'll have to pick it up in my regional capital, and I won't be going post office very often unless I know something is there.  Also one of the best things you can send me is just music by email (or any other format)!

Tid-Bits from My First Week

-I was interviewed by the newspaper.  And apparently they talked about me on the radio.  Sometimes it seems that people I meet in town already know who I am, and sometimes they don’t.

-Have been doing a lot of housework, including two loads of hand-washing laundry (small loads, but hey I did them all by myself and they included a pair of jeans and a fleece which were big pains).  Also, my family sweeps the entire house and outside walkway twice a day, without fail, even though the dirt is hardly noticeable until the end of the day (if ever).  My host father complained about how he spends something like 4 hours a day just sweeping and mopping, and when I asked him why he doesn’t just do it once a day, he gave some vague answer about “from dust to dust”…

-Found out my host father was one of 24 siblings, my host mother was one of 12.  My host brother has somewhere over 50 cousins.

-At least once, I mistakenly implied that I was romantically involved with my host father, by saying that I lived con Profesor Tesén, instead of con la familia de Profesor Tesén.  Thankfully, my counterpart knew what I meant and warned me to rephrase that next time.

-Almost unknowingly participated in a semi-political rally (a big no-no for Peace Corps Volunteers)… from now on I will ask more questions before accepting invitations.

-Did you know that if you look at a plantain/banana while you are pregnant you will miscarry?  No, it’s not a legend, I’m told.  It really happened to Paulina. 

-Jeff wins the award for funniest and most awkward First Week Story I have heard.  The dear boy, living in a community much smaller than mine in Ancash, was invited to what he thought was a charla (talk/meeting) at the Heath Center.  When he arrived, it turned out that they were having some kind of event promoting breast-feeding.  This event was basically a breast-feeding competition, where half a dozen women were sitting in a circle, with their babies going at it.  Jeff was asked to the “judge,” and God knows what the criteria was- mostly, who went the longest?  After about half an hour of extreme discomfort, trying to figure out where to look and how to act, one nursing baby remained and his/her mother was announced the winner.  Jeff was asked to take a picture with each contestant and her baby.  The breasts were put away for the pictures.

I was fairly productive, met most of the artisans in the artisan park (although I don’t remember any names) and met a few high school Directors while delivering my oficios.  I attended two meetings, both of which were really helpful for my work.  I also did a lot of thinking about my purpose and role in this community, and am starting to feel less anxious about everything, especially about the pressure I was/am putting on myself to be “productive.”  I’m going to focus less on comparing myself to my expectations...if that makes sense.

A Short Anecdote from Site Visit

My blog has been a little deprived of entertaining stories, ya know, the colorful stuff apart from the official business of training and swearing-in.  So, without further ado, here’s a little anecdote from my site visit- this occurred about 2 weeks ago, when I came to meet my family and socias in Monsefú and stay with them for one week before swearing-in.

It was about three days into site visit- so I was just starting to feel at home, my parents and host brother were super nice, and the food was great.  We also celebrated my brother’s 23^rd birthday, and did so with some of his favorite dishes- ceviche and arroz con cabrito (rice with baby goat).  The next day, due to some construction on roads in town, we were without water all day.  Everyone is used to saving water, since we usually only have it for 12 hours a day, but by about 6pm, our reserves had run out.  Even though we had two reserve tanks, everything went dry because of the construction of my room, which involved water for the cement.  So, right around this time, I felt the unmistakable “stab of doom” in my stomach… that ominous deep, sharp, block of pain that can only mean I am going to have a miserable night, suffering from “Peace Corps South America” syndrome.  Keep in mind the water situation that day… yeah.  I’ll let you use your imagination.  So, after some miserable hours of wishing I could vomit, it finally happened.   This was my third time being ill in Peru, and the first time I was able to vomit.  So it felt great and awful at the same time, but mostly great.  Afterwards, feeling quite accomplished, I was able to drink a whole glass of lukewarm water (many Peruvians, including my family, won’t let you drink anything cold when you’re sick).  Thought it was over, but then I vomited up the water.  I went to bed, feeling pretty dehydrated and awful.  A few hours later, I got up to go to the bathroom again. The one I chose is located just outside of the main door of the house.  As I left the bathroom, I suddenly felt like I was going to faint.  I told myself that I just had to make it to the main door, to open it and warn my family that I was about to faint… and the last thing I remember is reaching for the door and thinking “Damnit, I don’t know the verb ‘to faint!’”

Apparently I didn’t fall, but I came to gripping a ledge on the wall, in a very awkward squatting position, with my whole body convulsing and I was breathing really weird.  I came to as either my mother or brother grabbed me, and moved me over to the couch.  I recovered pretty quickly, and in true Peruvian custom, they then covered me in approximately 6 blankets, to keep me from losing body heat (even though I was sweating like crazy).  My adorable host mother then slept on the couch chair all night, to watch over me.

Great first impression I made, eh?  Anyway, haven’t gotten sick since arriving back at site, which is amazing considering the number of raw vegetables I’ve eaten (although they have been washed with a bit of Clorox, as recommended). 

The verb “to faint” is desmayarse, by the way.

Now the Real Fun Begins

Taking our Foreign Service Oath

It's official! Last Friday, August 19, all 51 of Peru 17 were sworn-in by the US Ambassador to Peru as Peace Corps Volunteers.  This marks the first time since 2005 that a training group has had 100% swear-in!

On Saturday, I said goodbye to my training host family, and there were lots and lots of tears.  The most bittersweet part was them telling me that there would be a real vacancy in the house without me, especially because of the way that I cared for the 4 year-old.  They said she (Angeline) had never gotten so close to a volunteer, that I really made an impact on the family in the cariño I gave her, and that they knew she was going to miss me a lot.  I tried my best to explain to Angie why I was leaving and that I would be back to visit, but it was still really hard to leave, especially when I became very accustomed to her hugs and declarations of "Kin! Mi amiga por SIEMPRE!"

My despedida (going-away party), with Angie and her parents, Omar and Marilyn

Sunday, I attended my first regional meeting in Chiclayo so got to meet most of the other volunteers in the region- they took us to an awesome restaurant where I had chaufa con mariscos, fried rice and seafood, yummy.  Today was my first full day at site as a PCV.  My Regional Coordinator knew that I didn't meet the mayor or any other important authorities during my site visit (in general, the Municipality is supposed to reach out and I am supposed to be introduced to everyone then), so this morning she had scheduled a 10am meeting for me at the Municipality, to meet the mayor and all of her staff.  It was great to hear that she (the mayor) had a good idea of what Peace Corps was (thanks to my Regional Coordinator, Program Director, and another Volunteer closeby).  So it was a bit of a relief to feel like I wasn't starting from zero, and the mayor made sure her staff knew that I would be coming in and probably asking for their help in finding documents, records, etc.

So, reality starts now.  I am mentally prepared to take this experience day-by-day and task-by-task, focusing on the little victories, but still the anxiety is setting in.  I am starting to miss my training friends, especially those who won't have cell phone service at their sites.  Also, my host father doesn't want me leaving the house by myself (I'm hoping this will change soon), and especially since I have internet at home, I am worried that I am going to spend too much time in the house.  Hopefully my restless anxiety will propel me towards the door, and with the help of my host family and socias (who came to find me today and also accompanied me to the mayor's office), I'm hoping to get out into the community as much as possible and get my face known.  It's a weird sensation to be in a town where everyone knows each other, and where I stick out like a sore thumb and don't know anybody- definitely a different experience then training.  Anyway, here's my personal to-do list for this first week, which will hopefully keep me busy and non-anxious:

• discuss money matters with my family- how much I will be paying them for food & rent
• deliver oficios (formal letters) to the important authorities, to introduce myself
• get document signed by the mayor to approve my work visa
• get business cards made
• find a detailed map of the city to use in my community map and encuestas (surveys) parts of my community diagnotistic
• meet Paulina's artisan group and hopefully others
• find contact info for PCV Charles who set up my site, and meet with him
• meet the German volunteer who also recently arrived here to work with the church
• get an interview printed with the local newspaper
• present myself in the colegios (high schools), possibly recruit some "interns" for my community diagnostic
• find and buy ingredients to make my breakfast granola
• explore around town for a potential place to run and work out

So, that's my life right now.  As my friend Lucas just put it on the phone, it really feels like we have just been given a completely impossible job.  But I'm hoping that by taking it task-by-task, I'll keep myself busy = happy.

My New Home

So, I wasn't expecting to be in contact with people all this week while I was at site visit, but... I HAVE WIRELESS INTERNET in my new home!  What?!

We arrived in Chiclayo, the department (state) capital, Sunday morning, and had the day to relax and meet some current volunteers in the area, all of whom are really chill.  They gave us a short tour of the city and some tips on money, groceries, etc.  I already like Chiclayo soooo much better than Lima.  It's walkable and more traquilo, but still more lively than the sleepy city of Cajamarca that we saw during field-based training.

Monday we met our socios (counterparts) in the Municipality building.  For me, two artisan ladies showed up, and they were so, so sweet.  The one who was my official socia, Paulina, can't be much more than 4 feet tall, her feet didn't touch the floor while sitting a chair, but she has the personality, energy, and motivation enough for someone twice her size.  An official from Monsefú's mayor's office was also supposed to attend the meeting but didn't show.  Since Paulina and Margarita were so awesome, I wasn't concerned about it.

After the meeting, Paulina accompanied me by taxi and colectivo (shared taxi) to Monsefú.  As a side story, I apparently almost got robbed on the way there- as we were sitting in the colectivo about to leave Chiclayo, I was on the phone trying to locate something I left in the hostel.  Then someone knocked really hard on my window and the driver yelled at me to put my cell phone away.  Apparently, a choro (thief) had attempted to run up to the window and steal my phone, but thankfully the glass was up (I guess it was so clean that he didn't realize?).

Anyway, Paulina accompanied me straight to my family's house, since she knew exactly where they lived.  I can't begin to explain how awesome my family is.  The father, Augustín, is 67 but doesn't look that old.  Both he and his wife are local professors, but he is retired and does all of the housework and cooking while his wife works all day.  So that was not an image I expected to see all day- this man walking around the house with a broom in his hand, always smiling and cracking jokes.  His wife, Rosa, is 57 and equally good-natured and always smiling when she gets home, after working all day in Chiclayo.  Their son, Agustín Jr., is only two months older than me and is the person I can thank for the wireless internet in the house! He's a thesis away from receiving his systems engineering degree, and has started his own business of distributing computer equipment in Peru.

As you may have guessed, this family is definitely in the top economic tier of this town.  I felt kind of guilty about living with them at first, since they have so much more than many others in this town- internet, a nice TV, refrigerator, washing machine (although they are different and kind of useless here), multiple bathrooms (with working toilets) and ...wait for it... a hot water heater in the shower.  Um yeah, did not see that coming.  I do want to add the caveat though that this family shares many of the experiences of the rest of the townspeople, for example there is only running water from 6am-1pm, and 3pm-6pm.  And today, there is no water at all in the town because they are fixing roads and had to shut it off.  However, my family has two reserve tanks on the roof, so we are still able to cook and bucket bath. They also have the same customs as other Peruvian families that are super conscious of electric bills, so they only use the lights when completely necessary and unplug everything when not in use.

So, I thought a lot about why they placed me with this family.  I've already mentioned how incredibly well-natured they are, but they are also very well connected, known, and respected in this town.  Especially as a new site, its really really important for me to have an "in" to meeting people, and this family is definitely it.  The importance of this has become even more evident this week, as the mayor's office hasn't reached out to me at all.  Apparently a group of townspeople are filing a denuncia (denouncement, first step to impeachment) against the mayor, so that's definitely going to be a challenge to my work.  Volunteers are supposed to work somewhat hand-in-hand with the Municipality and it's still quite possible that the mayor will publicly present me at a later date, but the politics of it all makes it even more important that I have other reliable ties.  Sooo, that's what I'm telling myself to feel less guilty about all my amenities.  Also, having a more relaxed and comfortable home life will allow me to have more energy for my work outside of the house, I think.

So my new home life is no challenge at all (so far), but my work life is definitely going to be.  I am the first volunteer ever in this town (which is what I preferred), so a few people have heard of Peace Corps before but virtually none understand what I am doing here. (Side note: Paulina's first question to me was, "So, are you Canadian?")  There are a ton of artisan associations here but beyond that I don't have many pre-established starting points.  I'm going to have to figure out my own way to approach people and work, and I've started strategizing a bit on that.  It's definitely going to be a challenge, but that's what I wanted.

Back to Lima on a 11 hour bus ride tomorrow night, then I'm in for my last week of training!  Swearing-in as a Volunteer August 19, then arriving permanently at site August 22.

I've updated some of the other pages on this site, specifically "My Site and Work"- check it out and scroll to the bottom for a great video of my town!

Also, we just ran out of water from the reserve tanks.  Haven't showered since Tuesday morning, so look s like I am going to be quite dirty until tomorrow.  Hope that meeting with the mayor doesn't happen today!

SITE ASSIGNMENT!

Site assignment was yesterday, here´s a brief info to where I will be living for two years!!

Community Name: Monsefú (Mohn-say-FOO) http://www.lambayeque.net/chiclayo/monsefu/ (check out the YouTube videos with awkwardly translated English subtitles)
Department (State): Lambayeque
District: Chiclayo  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiclayo

Population is about 22,000 or possibly 30,000 (not really sure), which at first I thought was bigger than what I wanted, but I realize now will probably be perfect for small business.  There is a ton of artesan groups and some good NGOs that work with them, and I will probably be doing a lot of networking for them in Chiclayo, which you can see at the top of the map is only about 20 min away! I´m also less than 10 min from the coast, so get some good breezes- Pimentel and Eden are good beach towns, I believe.  It rains about 4 days out of the YEAR, and is consistently around 60 (low) to 75 degrees F (high), with occasional days up to 90 deg F.  Did I get paradise or what?! The food is also supposedly awesome, with a great market of fruits and vegetables, plus good local fish.  My friend Hallie from training will be in Reque which you can see is very close (about 20 min) and I think an older volunteer lives somewhere closeby as well.

Sorry this post is shorter than this news deserves, but I am quickly posting from an internet cafe since the phone-internet lines were cut or stolen in my community.  I´ll be visiting Chiclayo and Monsefú next week from Monday to Friday, so will have more info on my work and counterparts, family, and hopefully pictures to share then.  For now I really couldn´t be happier with my assignment!