I haven't had much significant Peace Corps activity recently, or at least not blog-worthy updates. I would rather not post than clog up Peace Corps Journals with stuff like my passport updates, GMAT testing, etc. but I have had enough thoughts recently that I thought they warranted a post.
A friend of mine leaves for PC Senegal this week, and she posted a picture of the contents of her luggage on Facebook. Ahhh, made it so real! When I saw her about two weeks ago, I asked how she was feeling about leaving. She said "overall excitement with occasional bouts of panic." I thought that was a perfect description of what I anticipate I will feel in two months. She said she has moments of "What the hell am I doing? Is there really a reason for me to move to Africa for two years?" and seriously contemplates this life choice, but then eventually gains her footing again. I have had some thoughts like that, and I figure the more I think about this now, the better. From what I gather, the first 3 months of training and first 3 months at site involve answering those questions from the locals very often. The more that I work to articulate my reasons for joining the Peace Corps now, the quicker my counterparts and local acquaintances will come to understand me and my reasons for being there (hopefully).
My current sound-bite for "Why Peace Corps?" is this:
I want a career in global development work, and I don't think I could ever be effective or trust myself in a global development job without having spent significant time on the ground. If I am eventually in a position to make decisions/policies on behalf of the interests and needs of others, I want to make sure I have a good idea of what their interests and needs actually are, and I hope to achieve that by incorporating myself into a developing community for two years.
I also got to see a friend who was visiting DC after recently returning from "Interrupted Service" in PC Kyrgyzstan. She was forced by PC to leave her community after a number of safety concerns, and she said she was planning on leaving service in the next few months anyway, so this was a good thing. Basically, she was in a sketchy situation with her host father and a number of other men in the community. From the beginning, PC had given her the option of moving to another Kyrgyz community- but as she put it, what was she supposed to tell her counterparts and friends? "I'm moving to another community that is pretty much exactly like this one, but with different people." Yeah, that sounds like a difficult conversation to have with people that you care about. So for her, returning to the States was better than moving to a different community.
We got to talk about a number questions and thoughts I had, and she said I seemed to be well aware of the biggest challenges of being a PC Volunteer, which was encouraging. Lack of hot (or running) water, rural living, strange foods, bugs etc. are things that you can get used to somewhat quickly (okay maybe not the bugs), but here are the things I think will be most difficult:
- Explaining what I am doing here. Pretty much addressed above... but I anticipate that a lot of locals will be really confused as to why I chose to come to rural Peru by myself. I hope I'll be able to articulate my reasons in a way that makes sense from their point of view.
- Harassment. Hopefully (and most likely) I won't encounter anything as bad as my friend did. But I do anticipate that as an American woman, I will be somewhat of a target for sexual advances. I don't think I'll have a problem managing if it is a sporadic occurrence, but I'm concerned about having uncomfortable situations that I have to deal with every day- for example, a host family member or coworker. It is really awful to be in a situation like that where for one reason or another, you feel helpless.
- Working within the limits of local superstitions. I said this one, and my friend from PC Kyrgyzstan burst out laughing. She said this was a very accurate challenge. For example, in Kyrgyzstan, girls cannot sit by the corner of a table, because the point of the table takes their virginity and can damage their ovaries. Also, her very smart counterpart wanted to buy shoes with thicker soles because that would fix her kidney stones. What do you say to that? "Ummm I really don't want to be a cultural imperialist here, but you're wrong." Often times, I think it will be best to just not say anything and "pick your battles." But as I experienced in Spain, this is often easier said than done for me; after I returned from a long run in the humid summer, I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of cold water from the fridge. My host mother panicked and grabbed the glass out of my hand, saying that I cannot drink cold water after running- only room temperature water. I was confused and said I'd be fine, I would really prefer cold water. She persisted that the King of Spain had a heart attack and died by drinking cold water when it was hot outside- I could die!! Oh man, that was difficult. I reeeeallly really wanted that cold glass of water.
- Problems with my host family. I am nervous about the possibility of having a bad match with my host family. I hope that PC Peru will have picked a good family and community for me, but I know that bad situations do occasionally happen. A current PCV Peru's blog discussed her situation, where the host mother always seemed dissatisfied with the Volunteer's contributions to the household, and constantly talked about everything that the previous Volunteer did in the house. She got support from PC Peru, and they helped her move in with another family. I just really really hope that I am placed with a family where we can share a sense of humor. When I am trying cow's stomach or guinea pig, or attempting to pluck a chicken or prepare a meal, I want to be able to laugh at myself and have my family laugh with me.
- Trying to be on my A-game 24/7. Peace Corps is not a 40-hours a week job. My success on site will be determined by the relationships that I cultivate. When I am sick (as I have been assured I will be for the first 3 months), tired, or frustrated, I am afraid that that will affect my relationships with others, and consequently, how they respect me and my work. As a slightly different concern, what if I just can't "make it work," and never reach the point of feeling like I am really accepted in the community?
These are serious challenges, but they don't detract from my commitment to PC service. Beyond the career motive I explained above, I see these next to years as an important "personal test" for me, in becoming a stronger person and demonstrating my commitment to serving others. To get really mawkish for a second, "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." (Gandhi)
Now that I'm done with the GMAT (for the second time), I've been able to start thinking about pulling my life together pre-Peace Corps. I've filed my taxes for 2010 and am making some financial preparations for the next two years, including consolidating banks accounts and investing some of my savings. The next things on my to-do list are:
- Dental Clearance update. By June, it will have been more than a year since I received my dental clearance, so I have to get mine redone.
- Backing up pictures, documents, and music. My computer is about 3 years old now, and I know it might bite the dust while I'm in Peru. I'm not concerned about that, since I don't want to risk buying a new one and having it break or get stolen.
- Contemplating some purchases. I think I want to get a nice camera for PC service. Although I have a terrible track record with cameras and am afraid of this getting stolen too, I want to have the capacity to take frame-worthy photos of the people and places of Peru. I also need to get a long down jacket, Chacos, a headlamp, small iPod speakers and possibly some new luggage and an electronic dictionary. Anybody have recommendations about whether I should use an electronic dictionary or regular old-fashioned one?
- Selling my car. This one is going to be sad. I've had my baby since I was 16, and it has treated me so well! However, I am excited to free myself from registration, taxes, insurance, gas, etc.
Next update will probably be about the upcoming election in Peru. I'm gathering my thoughts on that one and will get back to you!
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